PHYPA WEN RYEA!

It has been a hectic month and I could not really spend much time with my blogspot for a while now. But what I can gather looking at the calendar that this would very well be the last post I would be writing this year unless I have a change of heart before midnight and write another. But, it seems unlikely as I am running late already for, first, a birthday party and then the New Year eve party and I don’t take things for granted when it comes to dressing up for an occasion, you see!

So here's wishing a brand new year, a very successful and bright, a very fulfilling and satisfying year for all of you. Wishing peace and prosperity; joy and happiness; smiling faces and laughter; strength in the tiring times; and will power to stay put when things look gloomy and dark. And much more of 'me-time' and lotsa time to discover yourself to know the real 'YOU'.

And here I remember a saying which is so very meaningful to me: 'Success is a journey not a destination' and similarly I put it for life: its a journey, its about growth and the name of the game is to go on and not stop as its more than just reaching a destination.

Let’s say cheers to the New Year as we pop the bubbly.........PHYPA WEN RYEA!!!!! Hic hic....that’s all jumbled up as I try to say ....(may be I am already drunk)....HNY!

Saying Goodbye!

Just the other day I was discussing ‘this’ when I and a friend (the most down to earth guy I know for all his successes) decided to catch a movie to treat our eyes after treating ourselves leisurely over a lunch and some Australian wine.

That was a luxury for me. First I was at home all by myself and not traveling. And then it was a Sunday, a nice wintry December Sunday afternoon. And then the movie was a true blue bollywood blockbuster and a chartbuster of the season.

While we were casually chatting about the directorial lapses, and exchanging some such critical bytes after the movie we did touch upon the changing cityscape. How this city is transforming day by day which is almost like desperately going under plastic surgeon’s knives. And how multiplexes are becoming a big time favorite with the common people and the businessmen and the people in power alike. And how old cinema halls are standing like a sore point in this oh-so perfect hairline…err…cityscape.

As if someone heard us talking about it and lo and behold…almost in a few days I read an announcement with a heavy heart that this much loved movie hall, a classy address would soon go under the bulldozers to make one of those huge malls with multiplexes. One of those places where you don’t have to plan for a movie as one of those would anyway be showing what you want to watch just when one is in the mood. These days multiplexes are giving such options that planning for a movie sounds oh-so old-fashioned! Life is becoming oh-so convenient!

Chanakya theatre would not be there in future. The name which is synonymous with movie outings from childhood. It also meant good momos any time of the year. And it meant a convenient landmark where people from different parts of the city could gather when we plan re-unions and catch a movie over some yummy kebabs and entertaining bytes from friends. A lot of nostalgia of those idyllic moments spent would be bulldozed along with the movie hall.

For me at this point, it’s an end of a nice hang-out spot. And its end of a year as well which brought much changes and new beginnings. Hope Chanakya also gets a new beginning in future.

And I thank my friend for mentioning about a movie that Sunday while I was happily sipping that exotic variant from Oz or else I would have missed an opportunity to catch a movie at Chanakya one last time. Do I really have enough time to catch another before it shuts down for ever, may be Will Smith’s latest…err I am legend, what do you think?

Speak Up!

Speak up. Say it loud and clear. It helps.

It helps as it does not keep a residue within your mind and you don’t get to hold your grudges for long. It helps as the other gets to understand your point of view and indirectly helps you resolving the matter, if that is so. Or otherwise it gives you an idea what to do next. It helps a great deal.

This is about one of my friends, a female whom I had met many moons ago at work and became friends, became almost like a family. And she would always be loving and polite and would take me as I am without any offence. She would never feel bad when I would correct her or for that matter advise her or rebuke her. I knew she likes me for my point of view and for my clarity. And this way I had become part of many discussions and her family.

But I used to get troubled at times as much of the times she would not mind my blunt ways. I had uneasy moments after commenting harshly sometimes which would make me think for sometime but I still spoke my mind all the time knowing how close we are.

But I do not have to feel bad again. She spoke up.

I am happy that she spoke up. She said the way her mind told her and she did not bother to think how I would feel. Somewhere it was not a good feeling but at a different level I felt she is no more that meek and indecisive person any more. And somewhere I felt good as now I don’t have to tell her the way I think about things she does and now she knows and she would not ask another for decision. I will feel less guilty after I speak my mind.

Well, I will remain the way I am anyway, some things just don’t change! Except one thing- my admiration for her. Now I admire her more than before.

Hey ‘you’, thanks for that verbal ‘deuce’ you lobbed at my court the other day, honestly it felt good. It’s good to be open and say things the way it is and I like it this way!
And it’s good to see some changes at least. And you scored a point there!

Will you find HappYness?

I am a morning person and I am at my creative best when its sunrise time and I am at my productive best in the morning. And today was no different and I had to put an imaginary lid on the pot where all the thoughts were brewing for my next blog, for the recipe I would try tonight, the dress I would wear over the weekend when I attend that reception and things like that.
And then there were influences all around, we humans are just like blotting papers at soaking up ideas, moods, and vibes; only difference being we can regulate our selection unlike a sheet of blotting paper which without failure would soak anything it is thrown on!

Well, to tell you the gist there were a good number of influences around me this morning which triggered my thinking process on this blog, and it was at that time when the daily planner at my desk was flashing a colorful collage!

First it was Will Smith, (this man is surely addictive) and then the film called The Pursuit of Happyness and then that sudden encounter with that bitchy colleague of mine, and the group discussion at work as we are planning to relocate our office space and then….well, that’s something within my mind which got into that ‘deep thinking’ mode!

And I was thinking how tough it is to be humble and be genuine about it.

In this competitive world its difficult to scarf insecurities and often the inner bitch peeps out and we transmit a vibe unknowingly. I feel it’s a great quality to be humble when you are sitting at the highest rung of that ladder. And only those could flash it genuinely who have reached there after traveling rough patches in life. It shows through your eyes, through your actions, voice AND you can’t act there.

We all are running in this game of life, whatever is our goal, however successful we are, wherever on the ladder we are placed. Running is the name of the game. And we do it, its habit, you know it or not.

And there I read this: "I couldn't tell you that we were homeless, I just knew that we were always having to go. So, if anything, I remember us just moving, always moving". That’s what Chris Gardner tells when asked about his life on which the film is based played by Will Smith.

Wish we knew its just so for everyone: YOU, I and everyone, may be it’s a different track, on a different lane. So gear up, on your mark…GET-SET...and Goooooooooo

Tall Black and Sexy

Aren’t these sexy? Umm…I like them pointed, I like them black and I like them when they are real sleek. And I have many of them. Well, I am talking about my love for stilettos (this is so girlie for a tomboy).

And as I stay put on the bed recuperating from, what a very nice doctor diagnosed as, soft tissue injury at lower back, I was reading/discussing more on lower back injury and things to do etc. And there I heard from a colleague about working out on stilettos are gaining ground in Manhattan and such places. I was wondering what went wrong when I tried to run…err walk a li’l too faster on my sexy stilettos last weekend. Now you know why I had to spend much of my weekend on my back…oops, it still hurts.

Learn to walk like a lady, if you can…umm, I am telling myself as my mum told me over phone!

be the man..err CHANGE

I was away from my sweety for sometime now, was busy teasing my brain..err I was at work and it’s a demanding field you see! But I am in so much love with my blogspot that I had to be back and make my presence felt!!

I was part of a round table discussion to discuss what policies can inspire more men to end gender-based violence globally and more essentially in South East Asia. And there I came across a few lines which truly moved me:

be the man who says NO to Violence Against Women
be the man who Stands for Equality
be the man who Breaks the Silence
be the man who Cares

And I wonder how many (MAN) would truly answer in affirmative in this so called progressive era. And I ask: Are you man enough?

Well, don’t have to answer me…think for yourself .

November Quotes

Its December already! And I have to go on a vacation.

One more year is going to pass. And for some reasons December has always been associated with parties, get-togethers for me, not only because of usual Christmas-New Year eve fest-ing and feasting but also because of my tenures in different places had mostly ended in December. But this year I have seen more number of farewells in November; farewells of my colleagues from various offices across the globe. And that was quite a number.

And I am a sucker of good time, good food and good words.

I flaunted some of my beautiful dresses and got compliments (they are actually for my designer friend).I ate some nice food, got to know some recipes and gained some flab. I drank some bubbly and felt nice. I listened to those speeches and I saved two quotes for my blog post.

The first one is what Confucius once heard saying "Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" .

And the second is an Irish saying "May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be at your back, may the sun shine warmly on your face, the rain fall gently on your fields and may a kind and just God hold you in the palm of his hand until we meet again".

May you all have a nice time in the forthcoming festive season as I plan to go on a vacation.

And I am done with this one for the moment; need to catch some sleep after painting the town red…..oops, in my red dress.

Oops, I am still short of one blog from hitting a half-century..whats happening in the gardens of Eden?

Quote-Unquote

"It takes a long time to become young." - Pablo Picasso

Shaken and Stirred

I wake up on time every morning, I seldom oversleep and most often this habit is appreciated (oops...I am at it again and when I was just told that I should be officially given a title for being the bestest narcissist in the world!).
And I still wake up on time, with my alarm, all the time, every time, tired or not, drunk or otherwise, at home or ….

Anyway, today I woke up before my alarm, before it could say Goodmorning, before I could hear that familiar sound. I did wake up earlier than my usual time, before it was the daybreak for me.

I did wake up with a sound, not usual sound though. It was with a roaring sound as if my little world was rocking as if someone is saying ‘rock baby rock’…umm, that’s not a dream. I woke up with a rocking beat this morning as we rocked with an earthquake.

For past few weeks I have been coming face to face with the fragile aspect of life, the non-permanent face of life. And this little shake called earthquake suddenly brings alive the fear of loss. And sitting on my bed, half-awake (don’t you know it was before my alarm was to sing?) I was thinking which ‘one thing’ to grab before dashing off from my apartment. We crave for so much in life and when it is the time to leave do we really get to take along what we accumulate?
And on my way to work I do ask this question to my chauffeur and he said that he would simply get himself out of the building in case earthquake makes his little world crumble. And at work I do ask the same question to my colleagues, and they just talked about saving their own lives and the lives of their near and dear ones.

Well, it’s kind of strange in this materialistic world. And I still don’t know what I will grab if I am stuck in a similar situation again. May be my phone. And my laptop. Ahhh…how can I run them without electricity after batteries run out?

What is more important to you, your life or all the accessories you accumulate to lead life?

I don’t fear losing all my data on my computer (I have lost my laptop before!). I don’t fear losing my little place, which I painstakingly adorned with things I collected from all over, from all the trips I undertake. I am not afraid of losing my life, do I really? I almost died a few years ago!
But I fear most is being cut off from my people. And I fear the most when I am away from them and in no way to communicate to my fabulously mobile set of family, when someone is happily soaking all the Sun in that bond island and when the other set is treating themselves to a royal dose of vacationing and when I almost forget my geographical locations with my ‘today here-tomorrow there’ mode of life.

And suddenly I feel the meaning of ‘shaken and stirred’ without even budging from my position on the bed! Ooops….

Quote- Unquote

"You can never plan the future by the past." - Edmund Burke

Where do I go?

My mornings are not brighter these days...well, literally!

I wake up when its still dark, not night though but thats how wintry mornings are and I yawn sitting on my cosy bed in my dimly lit room, Good morning! Its day already!
Sun is playing hide-n-seek with clouds err fog, err .. smogs! And I wake up when its still dark. Its still not day!

And still I cant start the day...I mean, I dont feel fresh, I dont feel lively, I dont feel energized...oops, as if I am run on sloar batteries!!!

And some smog within my head covers my mind and I am at sea with questions. Questions which are so many. Questions which are multiplying. Questions which are recurring. Questioning mind!

And its like: where do I go?

Have you ever felt when you know you are an adult and there is no one to take decision for you? When you know you have grown up and people expect you to follow your own path? When you know there is no one to share your daily stories, no one to crib with about your colleagues when you reach home? When you know people around expect you to handle things on your own? When people dont show you direction when life suddenly makes you stand at the cross-roads?

Is this part of growing up? Really big? Or that one is lonely and nowhere to go?

I am living with an emotion, an emotion when you lose your parents. Thats what I witnessed THREE times last fortnight. Yes, THREE. And I am touched.

As one of my friend puts it: its inevitable, and its part of life. Yes, its life that teaches us from such examples that nothing remians for long. Nothing. Not you. Not I. Nobody.

And I still ask a question, in mourning: where do I go? I cant see a thing, its so hazy with smog...

Double meaning?

In this time of ours acronyms are very popular and we use them whenever we get a chance. Its in vogue, its fashionable and its popular and everyone is doing it! But think of times when same acronyms could stand for two completely different set of terms with opposite meanings!

I just came across one such this morning and that reminded me of another from past. Sample them:

CSW: From my area of work its always been expanded to "Commercial Sex Worker" until I got an entirely different term when this conference reminder landed at my desk. It could also be expanded to " Commission for Status of Women". Huh?

ISP: Its mostly "Internet Service Provider" in this tech-savvy, net-savvy generation of ours. But it also stands for "Informal Service Provider" when one tries to adhere to jargons used in development sector especially The World Bank's health systems reform sector.
And you wonder what internet provider has to do with those 'witch-doctors' from those tribal villages? Yeah...

There are many such..but this is enough a 'dose' to satiate my addiction with this blogspot.

Wow, talking about addiction brought forward another interesting acronym which often gets wrongly 'inserted' with this 'injecting' types.

IDU: its "Injecting Drug User" and then there is IUD: which is "Intra Uterine Device"! Hmmm...

I will come back with more on this series but later on....

Googl(e)Y!

Got a bouncer..err want to get the meaning of something you just heard, or read or came across? Need to research on something? Search?

Well…the common practice is to look for a search engine…no real engine there, though! For the initiated its our regular lingo and a regular habit and we often don’t even say ‘serach engine’ and straight get into ‘google-ing’.

Today’s story is about our man Friday ‘Google’ who had rescued many of us at the 11th hour to get what we just needed and saved our days and made us hear all those praises and see all those rainbows…(oops…why always I talk about Sun, rain and rainbows..may be I just need to know..err ‘google it’) for all the hard work or ‘herd’ work of the google team.

Google was co-founded by Larry Page and Sergey Brin while they were students at Stanford University and the company was first incorporated as a private enterprise on September 7, 1998 (wow, September again..and have you noticed the date?).

The name "Google" originated from a misspelling of "googol", which refers to 10100 (the number represented by a 1 followed by one-hundred zeros). Credit for naming this huge enterprise should go to their first client who, according to ‘my very reliable source of information’, spelt it that way on the cheque for their very first payment. And just to avoid all the hassles of getting back to their client and get it corrected they opened an account going with the mis-spelt version and Googol became Google!

And it remained so. So what, if it did not mean anything?

They say things change: and now google itself is a word and finds its place in diactionaries (Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary and the Oxford English Dictionary) in 2006. And it has been increasingly into everyday language, the verb "google", was added to the meaning "to use the Google search engine to obtain information on the Internet."

And we say, lets Google!

Sands and Moods: T(w)oo different!

P.S: These are some of the pictures I have recently seen and I felt how sand from the desert and that by the shore exude different moods. None of these are taken by me nor my camera was used. These are from two different sources ..err friends from two different locations from their two different travelogues.

Hey you two, I acknowledged your work, so dont take me to the courts (in two different locations...ha ha ha...ahha...I would get to see two different places that way!) .

Quote- Unquote

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."- Abraham Lincoln.

Past Perfect!

I meet people all the time and I have been meeting people all the time, its sort of normal for someone who is always on the move. So, what’s so unusual this time around?
Well, I am back in town after meeting people whom I had known in the past, from long time who were lost when not keeping in touch was next to impossible!

The other day when I was visiting this city to attend a conference I called on a number. I called on this number to see whether this classmate of mine is still having the same number or is still living in the same city. I wanted to see some other faces as I was getting bored looking at the same faces all through the day, day after day. And I wanted to have a weekend away from that swanky hotel and see the cityscape. And my call was answered by the same voice I had expected to hear. We recognized each other and we met. It was more than when a friend meets friend.

It was a meeting-galore!

I met the whole family. His family with new additions since we last met. And as if that was not enough there was a surprise in store as I had to ‘meet’ another classmate and her family who has recently moved to this city. And it was a mini-reunion at mid-night in the middle of all those emotions and nostalgia. And I was pleased. I was happy as I could go back to a time which was so beautiful, so simple and oh-so nice! And we looked great on our customary reunion photos for our school web-album. Have a look.

And something said, past perfect!

Coming a Full Circle

Its amazing to see how life lobs at you situations, experiences with such amazing patterns. I always am surprised to find similarities in those patterns and these give me a feeling of ‘coming a full circle’! I wonder whether its me who finds these similarities or they just happen or I call for these or they just simply take place to remind me of things from past, make me ‘land’ up where I once was.

But at the end of the day its simply an amazing phenomenon to recount, to realize, to feel, to experience and to know how its when life ‘come a full circle’.

I sometimes get an eerie feeling within me as I almost feel I knew how the ‘story’ would unfold. And standing there under that over bridge at that unearthly hour I pinch myself hard to know I was awake and to believe what I was seeing which was uncannily similar a scene to what I had once recounted. I get such flashes sometime when I am deeply in my sleep and then I remember them when I see them happening exactly in similar fashion in front of my wide and beautiful eyes.

Well, before you start thinking about something meta-physical or I becoming one of those modern-day witches, I must tell you sometimes life does make you ‘feel’ what is coming a full circle and how it is to undergo when its repeatedly repeated for you to remember the phrase.

And I am amazed and I am shocked and I am a little bothered and I wish it hadn’t happened the way it circled the Sun…err my life!

Why I Write What I Write

I am back after a rather interesting trip and I am back with my blog. I am back because I am addicted to my blogspot. I am back because I am addicted to the response I have been getting: direct or indirect and I love that!

Someone just teased me the other day with a his regular nasty comment which truly reflects me and my sense of being: there is no place for 'you' its all so full of 'I'! Yes, I love myself, dont you know that?! And I am because I exist. And I exist because I want to. And I want to be like this only.

But, honestly I am overwhelmed at the response and the number of hits this blogspot has faced in such a short period of time. And this interest often makes me write more and remain in a 'regular relationship' even with my nomadic life.
This is thanks to all those people: people who read this and send comments; people who would read and discuss face to face; people who would write a blog in response to what thay had read here and then there are a number of those who are reading but I dont get to read their minds!
Anyway, at the end of the day: I...err my blog gets attention! Hmmm...attention seeking at its peak!? You gotta learn it from me....

So, you know why I write what I write and its all from my head and has no connection whatsoever even if you stop me in the middle of that huge bite I take on wrap-o-roll to ask whether I thought about you while describing a certain background. Well, life is so exciting, so full of experiences and then its so dynamic that I am seriously spoilt for choices as I find inspirations are everywhere. And I dont need preparation, its all extempore and spontaneous. So, you know why I write what I write and I exist as I exist.

As you rightly said you dont get to read what I intend to and that surely pats my back as I know I am succeeding in weaving my thoughts, pouring out my views the way I want 'it' to flow and make people read and enjoy...if not understand....

As its all about pouring out my thoughts the way my mind plays with them, uncensored.

Paradox of Choices

The other day I was busy teasing my brain over a book with a friend from UCSF which was a round-up of what she had just discussed with her friends from Malayasia under the bright Sun on the sanddunes of Jaisalmer during a camel safari. And I was happily soaking all the arguments knowing how it is to decide when we have many choices. Truly, as Barry Schwartz said, sometimes more could be so less! I know exactly how indecisive one gets however sure one is about what to chose with more options on the plate..err in life!

I am at its peak, well, if I can call it a syndrome- I have it-a paradox of choices.

I did not know it would happen to me; I had no idea I had to face it. And while I am at it I know it’s rather difficult a job than any fun. I am done with the concept of more the merrier, its so redundant. Its more is less and I am asking for MORE..gimme more!

Well, I am on the prowl and I am doing pretty well and so far I have balanced off many records (off the records, just for you!). And I find myself lip-sync-ing with Geri Halliwell as she croons, "It's rainin men - Every specimen Tall blonde, dark and mean Rough and tough and strong and lean..."

And I am spoilt for choices. And here I am with more options raining on me…Wish I could find a role model in draupadi, what do you say? That’s not a bad idea either!

Well, so is the paradox of choices. Ooops, what did you decide?

Moving on…

I am on a self-imposed sabbatical from my blog as I am divided between mundane activities I undergo before I set out for a trip (again?). And yet I chose to mark my attendance at the blog as I cross-check with the hotel for airport pick-up. Why? Well…

Its some kind of an upheaval I generally undergo just before one of those sojourns and I regard this as one of those. Its about moving from one city to another for me and for another its about moving from one house to another. And I know how it feels when we pack our bags and look at the empty corner which once had the lamp-stand; how it is to know that those spaces would be filled up in completely different fashion when the next resident comes and how those pangs feel when we have treasured some nice moments and shared those hearty laughs sitting on that couch which now sits in the box in a dismantled state ready for a ride.

It’s quite a weak moment, quite an emotional moment.

And I know all of that from my experience of moving almost on an annual basis with my assignments in different places. And it’s doubly emotional when the ghost from the past re-visits you when you are just about to lock your apartment doors after surveying the empty space the last time. And it happened this way yesterday when things occurred the way it was never planned; words were spoken the way they were never expected and you have no clue why it happened and how it happened: the timing, the location, the emotion, and everything.

And something within me moved as I made space to walk around amidst those packed boxes and furnitures. It’s the feeling we have when we decide to move on; it’s the feeling we have when we move on even if the ghost wants to uncork the bottle and tries to cast a spell; it’s the feeling when we know where to step on even if there is a second thought; it’s the feeling that says its over even if its difficult to erase the memory; it’s the feeling that tells which one to hold on to even if you are spoilt for choices.

And life goes on…you move on...I move on. It’s just those few minutes our paths were crossed. And I have to move from here anyway or else I will miss the flight; miss the trip which I painstakingly planned; miss the opportunity to feel the nomad in me. And I don’t want to miss anything else and I don’t miss a thing. You get me? We have one life and we get one chance!

Wish you a safe journey, a journey called life! Best wishes....