Hold All

Hold-all is something I have inherited, it’s a gift from heirloom, sort of ‘poitrik sompotti’ –which is kind of a treasure passed down from generation to another, from one’s dad (if I can offer a more specific translation for this Über-Bengali terminology), if I can label it that way! Thanks to our nomadic existence which warranted sturdy travel gears anytime of the year, in rains and in snows, every now and then …hmm….

And a hold-all is all I want when that’s an odd piece of article in my store room. Hope dad is not reading it, yikes!

Thinking of the term ‘hold-all’, I wish I could be one such myself when its such a difficult task to seal all those invisible pores which cry out loud from time to time to shed all the ‘stories’ all over. Umm, what an expression! Yes, I know exactly what I am talking about and you might need a wee bit of explaining here :)

As a person I am all words, spoken the better. Now you know what I am trying hard to ‘hold-all’ so badly.

I guess I have come to realize how this talkative nature is so irritating. This is a quality as I am never at odds in a new situation; I can just walk up to someone and talk. Well, that’s a good way to be not-so tongue-tied. But have you wondered what happens when in a group you are the only one who is all words? Sound-bites…err sound-byte!!
The same trait if exercised within limits could be very entertaining, social, and fun and if toppled a wee-bit more could be so very boring and not-attractive? I have found that out.
And I feel a mix of bad and sad :) Hehehe… I am incorrigible! (Gyan-paapi! Baaps, that's again a heavy duty Bong from my side..hic hic)

And sometimes I thank my stars when my friends are busy in midst of things, either running from one corner of the city to another or on treadmill or lost in contemplation or analyzing facts and figures or just browsing and away from their phones. I really thank my timing as that’s when I get to see what all I have in store to ‘pour’ out. And such times could be frustrating for someone who believes in voicing it out. But after all those turbulent times-which lasts for a good five-to-ten minutes, its all so serene and I am all so sane and rational.

Its actually a good idea to have those thoughts with you and not let those out the moment you see a pair of ‘willing’ears!! Oops, I feel so sorry for those who had been victims of my non-stop non-sense.. err …'stories of the day'-bout with a nice guise of smiling face and a set of twinkling eyes.

Silence is golden, said someone somewhere. May be not for me definitely! But I love Buddha and what all he says. I wish to listen to him…..

Hold all…err …hold on..I offer to change. Change is only constant.

And here goes Solna ‘holding all’ in prayers…“Buddham Sharanam Gachhami”. And Buddha smiles…

Culture-vulture

I am totally immersed with Tagore these days....I am with him day in and day out...

Err...I mean I am reading his books, listening to his music and talking about him, researching on him...I am into him. Yes, its like this ever since I have visited Shantiniketan.


Hmmm...I just managed a weekend to visit Shantiniketan and what a trip that was. I suddenly discovered the dormant Bengali side of me...and I am happy.


I am pasting a couple of pictures from my Tagore trail so that you can also walk with me as I recite:



"amader chhoto nodi
choley aanke-bnaake
boishakh maashe taar hnaathu jowl thake"





Hmm....I am happy when someone commented that my Bengali has improved that I have been speaking in Bangla with such eloquence that no one can say I have been away from West Bengal for a good 22 years. It definitely makes me swell in pride and I am sure this will make my mom happy too......














P.S: All pictures are copyright material Solna.

Happy and GAY

I am happy and I am gay…oops!

Anyway, stop calling me names, I really mean it. I get grumpy here.

This is a post-mortem of sorts after a nice concert and group dinner. One important mention of the evening is that it was dominated by a man who is always gay. The after effect: I feel happy after a weekend long me-time and a slow Monday with ‘work from home’. But I do feel tired on Tuesday afternoon with just four hours of sleep….yikes, don’t ask me why so much sleeping time was lost.

This is no bipolar thingy. It’s simple PMS and it’s normal. And it’s normal to feel moody. Just like some people are differently creative (wow, what a term!) I am differently moody and I sport different shades of mood. But most of all, if you really know me that well, I am a perky, happy, cheerful, all energetic kinda person (as if I owe you an explanation? I am fine the way I am.)

I just tried to re-read some of my old blogs (just to know what all some of my friends are reading and what all things they are finding out about me) and I was awesomely stunned at some of the descriptions I have written about me. And I really gave it a thought. But then how does it matter if you have a complete different interpretation reading what I write? Does this mean I stop writing the way I want to? Or I check what all meaning or interpretations are possible for some of my descriptions? I give a damn, seriously, I do.

The other day I was asked as if someone took me for a case of bipolar disorder just that I have been writing about mood swings, getting on sudden highs, and then low phases. Well, I have been just writing about me. I actually say more than I should …but….

You know I was actually upset when you probe based on what you read and enquire whether I could be case of a clinical condition. Anyway, it’s my fault. I should have taken care in using words like ‘going on a roller coaster ride’, ‘doomed’ etc with such generosity.

High or low, its business as usual and I realized one thing really hard: its only you ( I remember the number “Its only words, and words are all I have, to take. Your heart away”; I really like this song, ahhh, my guitar) and you only at the end of the day to help you out of a sticky wicket. And that you can only help yourself. And I am happy that I have me with me all the time. I love this moody-me so very much.