Spring Cleaning :-)

Spring cleaning!
Well, quite literally, actually I am in the middle of shifting to a new space both in personal as well as professional domain. You know, given my track record of travelling and moving with jobs, this should not make you any curious or jittery. Relax.

My office is relocating to a brand new seven storey building; I need to really pay attention to that email I received as I woke up on a Saturday morning. It’s the boss kinda telling in too many nice words to ‘get organised’. Though the email was sent to all who are currently housed in this beautiful ‘green building’ but I am sure many at work would know what this entails for me :-)

Well, moving to a new space which is not as spacious as your current work space can be a problem when you are dealing with a hoarder! C’mmon, I aint one, don’t you know how many projects I get to handle over this six years or so? And then I am very old world, I still like to do pen on paper and all my meetings with my students end up into documents which I keep referring until they complete their dissertation , even after that actually! So you get the scene, I keep accumulating stuff and quite like to keep them as I completely feel any tiny little interaction has the potential to inspire something and I am open to ideas all the time. You need to see my white board at work and how I scribble things on it and it’s a technique I have found which really helps me focus, helps me de-clutter and stay inspired.

Anyway, long story short, the mandate is ‘bring things which are useful to the new work space and leave the rest and they will dutifully find their way to the shredding machine’ .
Similar is the scene at home. There has been no email or no boss dictating or no new space on offer. Its just that regular spring cleaning – an extended one, you can say!

And what the hell of a cleaning it has been….huh!!

I remember reading a quote a few days ago and it went like this “you never know what you have until you clean your room”. This is so true, I have been staying put with my set of things (with intermittent additions from my many travels and some upgrade on the house etc)from pretty much the time I returned back to Delhi NCR in 2006 after staying in many different places for my work which almost started to have an annual pattern with a certain alphabet :-) I mean to cities starting with a certain alphabet! Anyway…

To continue with the de-clutter mode, I am trying to sort my books from travel documents, research papers from novels I read during traveling to some international conferences, painting and souvenirs from letters – hand written letters at that. And I am overwhelmed! First – so many people have been part of my life. Work colleagues, co-travellers, relatives (I have a very big family who don’t live in one place!), friends – so much memories and I am in no mood to abandon any of them. So what if I don’t travel back to see my old landlady in that beautiful summer house in Sweden but the joy that she thought of writing back to me years after I lived at her place is very endearing

. Notes, post cards, photos – and I am at loss how to organise everything. I have a dream to capture all of these, every experience of mine in a book. Yes, there I found this letter – a very lengthy, handwritten one, and someone very dearly telling me that I must do a travelogue as I write quite well. As they say, some things just don’t change and I am still nursing that dream!

I don’t know what was it that I started to write this blog this evening and now I am quite nostalgic, philosophic about life…err spring cleaning! But I guess, you got the point that there are so many people, so many things that shape you, that impact you and you only get enriched with each of these interactions, each of the trips you undertake, each of them….
Yes, sometimes in the passage of time some people or for that matter some memories are shuffled and sorted at a different layer which gets covered by the newer friends or newer priorities but they all remain there. It’s a different matter how you reminisce – I do with looking at old notes, old photos, books, letters etc.

I am glad that I met you all and I am happy that I remember you all and I have memories to cherish about you all :-) And wait, in addition to travel writing, I pretty much can even help guide/organize trips starting from the Great Wall of China to the Great Barrier Reef :-)

Travel and thoughts uncensored

Remember writing an email just before starting a 'voyage' way back, well, its kinda repetitive. I go through a strange kind of phase before I leave for a tour. And today, I found myself doing the same. Didnt write an email though, but was 'writing' a similar note, a checklist in my mind.

Hmm, coming to think of it, looks like I have a remnant from some previous lives, and I am still figuring it out. Given the kind of travel I do, I shouldn't have such jitters at all. But, what to do, I am sharing what I go through, real honest. Who knows, I probably have died in travel mode in my last birth? Who knows, probably I had lost all communications with my near and dear ones once I set out for that voyage?

Ha ha ha, sounding psychic, real strange, no? But, its ok to have different thoughts coming up and I let them be as they are....

Yes, its gonna be a lot of travel and its giving me a lot of jittery moments. Its kinda, I know everything will be alright but there are those moments of nerves which prepares me for the sojourn, which tells me its time to start packing, its time to give one last look at that Budhha picture before you close your apartment door, its time to start the voyage.

And I am preparing for all the voyages in store for me this year, and I know who all are counting... Ahh, let me explain...

Friend 1: "how many pages are left on your passport"
Moi: its my second passport, should be enough to accommodate my travel in 2011 :-)

Friend 2: "how many new places, this time"
Moi: (taking time) 1+1+1+1...four places in next two months

Friend 3 (a very cute one): "I am counting, so its going to be 20+ countries, eh?"
Moi: whoops, is that true, wow....you surely count :-)

Well then, you got the picture. And I gotta go, have to start packing. And I dont have anyone help me taking that suitcase down, ok...I will manage.

One hell of a BITCH :-)

This is from one of those forwarded emails and I just couldnt stop laughing :-)
Well, here's something to all the super-duper bitches in this world (including moi!)
And btw, I like the second abbreviation the most, I like, I like :-)

"When I stand up for
Myself and my beliefs,
They call me a
Bitch.

When I stand up for
Those I love,
They call me a
Bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
Or do things my own way, they call me a
Bitch.

Being a bitch
Means I won't
Compromise what's
In my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to
Tolerate injustice and
Speak against it, I am
Defined as a
bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be...

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch ,so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle 'anything'"

simplifying the complexity

Hmmm....I didnt think of visiting my blog today but someone had left a comment on an old post and that brought me here. Interesting, how I deviate from my plans, how I just put aside those dirty dishes on my kitchen sink and devote some time to my blog. Well, not that I dont like to write err blog...I rather like to be consistent about my writing as I nurture my dream to have my own book, a bestseller. People who read my blog tell me that I write well, that I kinda can weave things and its interesting. Recently my big brother went through my blog and read some of the posts and he even recommended me to start writing on a particular genre, I am glad, I am happy and these words of appreciation inspire me to write more, to create more, to weave more with my words. Yes, words...

Things are going crazy lately, life is so hectic that I am losing count of days and how its already mid November and I have no idea its just feels yesterday I was thinking about going to the mountains to beat the summer heat in Delhi. Hmmm, truly, time indeed flies...You know, you are lucky to get this feeling as this means things are going good...and you are going with the flow...I remember one friend saying this one day. Yes, I am grateful that things are all good, li'l hectic and tiring but its all good, as they say in NYC.

Talking about pace, speed, life's ongoing string of things, and in the midst of all these madness I sometimes think its good to have no format, no pattern and its fun to be spontaneous, and be there for that moment. Its good sometimes to have no plans...or the way the ultimate 'virgo' in me would put: its ok not to follow the plans! Well, I really dont know, whats good and what's not...as end of the day if I can flash that smile which you call bewitching, I am happy with that. If at the end of the day I can fall asleep next to you, I am happy with that. If at the end of the day that funny, non-descriptive curry I churn out in my new kitchen tastes like thousand bucks, I am happy. Actually, its really a simple thing to be happy in life and I dont know why people choose a complex route for happiness. Anyway....

May be I should be asking this to myself...as I sometimes become such an epitome of perfection that things go really rigid, really structured and my scheme of things do look like a fortress...as if I am that super warrior with a no-non sense air...hmmm...

Well, I am good as long as I take time to point fingers at myself. No one is perfect, you see....

Talking about complexities, I do get bit worked up when things are not so simple around me, when things are unclear, when things around you give you doubts, when things around you make you think twice. I am sure it doesnt give you a good feeling, when in one hand you expect a bunch of roses but you are poked with thorns. Who like to have such surprises? Not me at the least.

I know roses are enchanting, beautiful and so ethereal... but I would rather appreciate those lanky stems of tuberoses. I like things simple, things which are clear...things which dont confuse you. Well....thats how I have been leading my life and I have no complaints. Its been awesome so far, its been a great ride so far, as I call it 'awesome lonesome' and I am really fortunate to have it shaping up this way. I am glad, thankful, all humbled!

Scaping-scope

"In love, if you are looking for someone new, consider taking a drive into the countryside to view the brilliant fall foliage in early October. You never know - the handsome stranger picking apples next to you may be someone you'll want to know better. Venus and her lover Mars will make a rare and sparkling conjunction on October 3, scattering radiant romantic vibrations all over your chart. For you, love happens when on a short trip away from home, so go ahead - give in!"

Hmm...this is what Virgo horoscope read for the month of October.

And how true! I did go on a short trip..well, for two weeks. And I did go apple picking. Fall weather was lovely and I did love everything about it. Moving about among the greens on a sunny day doing some girl-talk with a friend was romantic indeed. So, in nutshell, words in horoscope are all true if you just consider the words. Amazing.

September chronicle!

Septembers have been always special. Its my month, my birth month to be specific.

A month full of activities, highs and lows, joys and confusions, it indeed is a memorable month. Here I am reminiscing about a month so hectic, so packed, so tiring, so full of food, friends and fun just before a voyage...err..I am setting off for yet another trip.

October will be different, I am sure. For its gonna be a different month, a different time, in a different terrain, different temperature....also so different. My mind is full of Pacific Ocean and Rocky Mountain!

I am all set for watching fabulous sunsets by the Pacific and see moon rise over Rocky Mountain with a nice nice cocktail by my side. I have that nice cocktail dress from Paris sitting pretty in my suitcase and I surely haven't forgotten that sexy stilettos. I am sure life at 35th floor would be pretty exciting too. Umm...I am all set for some amazing time!

Adios and see you soon! Life has been a roller coaster ride and I ain't complaining.

Eat Pray Love 2010

Till some months ago I only considered 'eat', and 'sleep' as two most important aspects of my life. That was until when I held Eat Pray Love in my hands and embraced ...umm....well...and became inseparable.

Yes, yes, I know what you will say, and I would still say 'eat' and 'sleep' were two most important things in this nomad's life when travel is so much part of life. And traveling or not traveling, my life revolved around food and more food and lots of sleep. You know, sleep is kind of a therapy in my life, it rejuvenates me, it renews me...ha ha ...now you know what keeps me all so energetic, happy and giggly.

Well, coming to talk about Eat Pray Love, I never knew a simple looking book could be so very life changing, addictive....or may be I fell prey ...or may be it was the weak, vulnerable side in me that could relate or forced 'me' to relate to what the protagonist (and also the writer) was going through. I still don't know, and I don't want to know either. But one thing is very clear, EPL ..I mean the book did affect me, my surroundings (read: friends). And I am amazed how most often my friends from far and near would see EPL trends in my activities, and when I have read/re-read the book a good three months back. I never knew any other book I recommended to my friends had been so popular. Anyway...

Life goes on and one tends to move on. I know, I did have a cute lil thing going on with EPL this summer but didn't think it will be so very indelible.. (umm...talking about things indelible, I want to have a few cute li'l tattoos!)..

I actually did an EPL ...well, EPL inspired trip. It's just an old habit and I had to take a break and sniff some coffee..err ...see some different faces, smell some different air and go under another cloud and get drenched in another place. Well, you got it, a change of place of sorts when life gets hectic when you don't get any creative in what you are passionate about and then you know its time to wander about and charge those batteries! Well, not literally...

I have been happily finding my groove in a new setting (you still call it new? well...) and I 'almost' found my niche and life looked pretty sorted. And here's where the nomad in me gets scared and starts throwing tantrums and that's something I haven't learnt to ignore. So, I had to sit back and listen to the nomad in me and decided to give it a shot when my love affair with sun was getting just so unbearable in the heart of the city. The practical me found out that it was almost eight long months since 'we' had gone for a vacation!

Yeh, we were at EPL, and explaining how my three city tour turned out to be my EPL or I had an EPL inspired trip....

However happy-go-lucky I look on the surface there exists a serene, tough, rather meticulous core. And a well planned, logical tour plan was charted out. And this girl loves to meet people (you think she's a loner, eh?), she simply loves people around her...Oh'yeah!

And I have an uncanny knack of packing a lot of things in a tiny bag...I mean, I have this tendency and this makes me feel good as if it 'is' the mandate to be doing things more efficiently, cost effectively, even if it means hopping to four different cities in less than ten days! Well, my friend 'Lonely Planet' knows this so very well that whenever I share an itinerary before a tour, he would mockingly say there's still room for at least two cities. I know, I know...this is incorrigible..Dont you know, there are somethings we know about ourselves and yet we cannot do or rather do no do anything about it. I mean, these are my traits, I am who I am...and having a hectic itinerary or a laid back spa holiday, I like it the way I want it!

So, with EPL, people (read: friends, super sexy ones at that!), hectic itinerary and tour planning, I found myself hopping from Delhi to Hyderabad on a very nice, romantic weekend...umm...I love country side and that train ride through those meadows, looking at the blue sky by a huge window in an air conditioned compartment as clouds played hide and seek with me, I was transported to a different world altogether. I love the feeling, the feeling so very me, so very passionate, so very deep.... And to make things interesting it is important to mention that my visit to the city of four pillars "Charminar" coincided with Ramadan and which translates to lot of feasting after fasting. So, my 'eat' part of the journey was made.

It has become a practice of sorts now, every time I cross the Vindhyas, I have to meet Him. And Tirupati- the holy city became my next stop after satiating my taste buds and after loading all the chambers of my stomach with aromatic preparations from the city of nawabs.

After some heavy duty trekking and very nice godly time and soul searching, it was time to move to part III of the tour, the love part. And if you are heading south on the East Coast in India, and looking for some leisure, Pondy hits you bang on. Yeah! you got it bang on, baby. I am talking about Pondicherry, with those cobbled streets and French Quarters, with that Bussy street which indeed a busy street and with that canal that cuts the city into halves and runs from its head to toe...well, almost literally! Ahh...I almost sounded as if I am describing Pondy at its anatomy....hmmm...

And then suddenly I realized (kinda eureka moment) I just planned my EPL however short it is, however local it could get, nonetheless, it was my EPL as I ended up eating a lot, praying some more and totally fell in love...ummm....

I didnt know it would still be so nostalgic and lingering....but I accept, I was, I am hit by EPL big time. And EPL did hit me...as I did eat, I did pray and I did love it! And there's love .....ummm....

Coming to a Full Circle-II

I remember writing one post earlier by the same name on this blog, so this one becomes ‘part II’ without having any continuity or relation. Now, coming to what I wanted to tell you…

I was perplexed at the complexity, at the multiple layers life could wear, at the different situations life presented to me and this led to some deep thinking to understand about life. Well, I try all the time…

I love to contemplate, to analyze, to think, to think deep…and all of that…

I was to switch into travel mode, this time on work and I was looking forward to the trip. There are more than one reasons and I am happy at the end of the trip that my work was satisfactory and I am looking forward to the collaboration. And I returned home on the weekend kinda satisfied, kinda disturbed (that’s not related to work though) and wanted to relax and get some massage and things like that.

I did have a quiet weekend and managed to relax and also work on a tight deadline without a computer…whoa? Yes, without a computer, you read it right. And my story of suffering started.

Something was wrong with my computer which I could not fix myself and hence I went to an IT expert who also wasn’t of any help. I call this person incompetent straightaway. Well, I know some really smart IT chaps (you know, I am in India, and these IT guys are good!) and so arriving at a conclusion was easy for me even when I would not know anything more than basic computer technique myself.

So, you kinda picture my state of being. I am at work and not able to work as the most important tool was not working! By the way, this is about my office laptop and then I have my personal laptop sitting in one of those fancy shelves I have at work because it is also not working for past few weeks. Talking of problems and here I am…

Anyway, I find the right person and my problem with computers are sorted. So, I get back to work. I go back to prepare my notes for an impending lecture and I concentrate on my class. I feel good. Well, work makes me happy. And I also love teaching. So at the end of the day I feel nice and glad.

Have you ever wondered how powerful it is when you speak and others listen. It’s actually a very powerful position to be in. Hmm…

Here, my computers break down, I feel horrible. I have a great class, and I feel good. And at the same time a lot of different things are happening, which makes you nervous, anxious, jolly, and this and that. And it’s a complex thing. Sometimes, we don’t even respond to all these and focus on to one or two particular triggers/emotions.

That day, there was a birthday, there was a funeral, there was a plan for a weekend trip, there were happy faces I like to see (I like to see the smile again and again), there were distractions, there were phone calls from old friends (yes, two to be precise...and how uncanny, both were calling from the same city. Ouch! actually, one introduced to me to the other...Hmm...talking about connections!).

And here I remember one of my favorite lines, ‘there is more than one truth’, I like repeating in my classes when I tell them about qualitative research. And looking at life you wonder how true it is, how striking it is.

And then, there are truths which become ‘truths’ later, when people come back to you to tell you what they said last time and how they feel now. And at the end of the day I find solace reading some books and sipping some pomegranate juice. I felt happy at Full Circle this Friday. It rained and I liked those little raindrops on my unruly locks...umm...thats another story altogether.

Life does come to a full circle, again and again.

In the roots of things....

This is gonna be my very last blog this year. 2009 has been a ‘great trip’ so far in so many ways in the journey of my life.

Its been a fulfilling year. Its been a memorable year. Its been a defining year. Its been a nice, beautiful year. And I wear a beautiful smile and my face looks nice....ummm....(more on this later)

I am happy as I sit next to an open suitcase, cameras peeping from within my old black backpack. I am just back from a fabulous vacation- a memorable trip from the land of my ancestors where I went tracing my roots. This was great in terms of my own identity, my Bengali roots. Bangladesh was a great experience.

This is gonna be a short blog as I had a very long ride back home, and I long for some massage. I wish to wake up to the New Year all fresh, feeling great and this requires a nice tight sleep.

I wish to wake up to the New Year looking forward to loads of travel, great time at work, friendship, and happiness. And my mind is full with Bhutan, snow, smiling faces, beautiful faces and a happPPy me.

BTW, life is a smooth ride if you have a great smile, have you ever thought so? I have a recent realization and I am in complete agreement with someone who once said “I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful”. And to be honest with myself I enjoyed every bit of attention I received in Bangladesh, be it in the music shop I went hunting for Bangladeshi pop music, be it from my fellow travellers in the jungles in the deep mangroves of Sunderbans , be it from people I met on the streets, in the villages, on the local buses, in the narrow lanes of old Dhaka, at the various eating places I visited, from friends and colleagues. I have come back home 'almost' feeling like a celebrity (I remember reading one particular sentence from the Lonely Planet's Bangladesh edition and that was so very true) with loads of admirers (hmm....thats for another time).

Wishing you all a great year ahead and I wish to write many more blogs in 2010, many more than 2009, inshallah!

a wee bit of.....

It is celebration time here. And I am looking for...ummm...a wee bit of ...

Celebration time should be splendid, with loads of fun, friends,food, love, joy, life full of happiness..

And here I am looking for a wee bit of this and that and all of these. Its sad and yet this is real. I am looking for wee bit of company, wee bit of love, wee bit of joy, happiness, laughter and I wish to enjoy my life a wee bit more.

Hmm...its true, more you become independent life gets lonely and the path becomes dark even when everyone else is celebrating festival of light.

Life sometimes is really full of contradictions!

Shoe bite

I had to look into my blog today and to update it even when it meant stealing time from other activities as I went to work after four long days.

This was a long weekend for me. I celebrated my birthday and treated myself really well. I had a fabulous time this weekend, complete with family time, eating out, meeting family (brother’s family to be precise) and friends and then friends visiting home over home cooked food and collected loads of gifts (the little girl in me had a happy time unwrapping all the gifts and guessing what is what with a funny grin on her face!). There are a lot new stuffs around. And I got a pair of pretty clogs too....

And then I had to write today, on my blog. There were too many mentions about my not updating it regularly in recent times. I realised there are people who like to read my blog and keep looking for new posts. Hmm, it definitely boosts my confidence. And then again on my way to work this morning I got a similar request from an old friend as she complained about seeing only one new post after months.

I blabber to myself, ‘I will write more; writing helps me, it clears my thought and it’s kinda therapeutic’. I call it cathartic!

Hmm...I did that yesterday. It was yesterday ‘Lonely Planet’ and his cute little daughter visited my place from across so many places. (This family really travels and knows how to land up in places so beautiful or dangerous or so out of reach. I really envy them.) And it made me happy ‘happy-HappPPy’yesterday. I am happy not just because I met them or just because LP talked about my blog but I am happy that I could be home to host them, I am happy that I could cook for them, I am happy that it was a special day. Well, it was my birthday and I was home to celebrate the special day. And I am happy that he surprised me with his precision!

Whoa....I gotta be explaining here.....

Talking about LP, I just cannot stop praising him. I have hosted quite a few get-togethers at my place and as a practice I send a standard set of instruction to friends well in advance on how to reach my place (you know, I am so very well organised...umm.. professional!). And now that it’s a regular thing to have friends visiting me from different places, from within Delhi, from other cities in India, from other countries, I almost keep that 10 point list very handy. It’s just a matter of copying and pasting and sending an email and voila (I think) its all clear. And invariably there would be frantic phone calls on the day when I will be busy tossing mushroom in my kitchen or when I will just be setting the table or clearing some clutter in my living room, in the middle of some clumsy last minute preparation or in the middle of a clear-all shower. And I would talk to them muttering ‘was not my instruction on ‘how to find my place’ sent for this, so that there is no confusion’. I least expect such phone calls when there is a step by step instruction. Giving directions and making sure the petrol pump is on the left and that you are facing the road are the least liked things for me. Urgh... And it never so happened all these while that anyone landed at my place without getting confused or without making those phone calls, well, until yesterday.

So, in a way, I almost thought my way of instruction does not work and said to myself ‘maybe I am confusing’. But when there is no room for confusion and there is no other way but to land up at my place if one really ‘reads’ those 10 points, I very sarcastically wondered what made people call me from middle of a ride, is it that they like to call me, or they have a cheap mobile connection or they are simply confused people or they take my step by step instruction lightly and don’t read my instruction before starting for my place.

Well, for the first time in almost 12 months I had a visitor who landed at my place bang on and surprised me. First because he reached well before the time I thought he would (my assumption was hugely based on my previous experiences with my other friends). Secondly, he is not from Delhi and not even from India. And most amazing part, he was travelling with a little kid and used public transport to commute to my place from where he is staying (that seven star place)! And I somehow now know that my instructions work and that the list is very clear and you cannot miss but reach the destination bang on! Hmmm...btw, I have been copying and pasting the same list without any edit all these times just in case you wondered whether I modified or changed anything (oops, making sure I used same instrument for all the episodes...ahh...see, its coming from someone who is into hardcore research!!)

And I am amazed with LP for other reasons also. I met him after a good five years and it felt as if it was yesterday. We have been neighbors once and then I ‘almost’ traveled wherever they went as I would either get vivid descriptions from all the travelogue he would post from time to time or from my own travel plans to visit them (so far all flopped!). Hmmm....

And at the end of it, it brought me back to my blog and I drafted this after a long day at work, from the middle of working on a presentation for my lecture tomorrow.

I will write more, surely, I will. There is a lot to write, so many update, those fermented beans recipes I learnt from my friend from Manipur over lunch today (ahh...my birthday bash is so very long this time!), those tips on Oddissi dance from my bro’s fiancée, those recipes mom ‘taught’ me over that sumptuous luncheon my bro planned for my birthday. I need to write about ‘Oh! Calcutta’ too, I love the place and it seems I was quite a head-turner of sorts that day...or maybe they all knew it was my birthday! About how I ended up with some good French red wine in ‘bad’ state and how I am desperately looking for good recipes to use this ‘bad’ wine! And I will write about other stuff happening in life in general.

So, watch this space for more...if not less!

Follow me...

Hmm...this is going to be a request-esque blog.

I have added a tool from google (you can see that on the left side of the screen, just next to this post) which tells you who all are my 'follower'.. ..well, I mean, reads my blog. And I know there are a number of followers (I know, I know!! Stats tell me all!) for my nomadic monologue. Now the scene is that I dont see any of you giving a heads up on that 'follower' thingy...and I take all the trouble of writing this whole paragraph to ask as you read this post, why dont you add your name and be a 'follower'.

Umm....follow me and I will flow with more posts!
I am waiting, all loaded with ideas for new posts, all ready to ooze out of my head and trickle down to my fingers as I pour them on the keyboard and splash them on the screen...

So, wouldnt ye wanna make me happy? And I dont take 'no' very kindly...Well, for you I can be patient though...So, I am waiting....ok?

Need some clean air....

Breathe easy, who wants to get stressed? Not me at the least. But I invariably get to get it. And it happened so very recently. Because I got manipulated, I was used and most importantly I was a bloody fool myself. lol.

Well, why blame another, look at yourself and find how important it is to know and see your own actions, decisions, and everything else. It’s a good thing that you got to see another’s true color, that’s a bonus. But what’s the guarantee that you won’t falter again?

Well, it’s a big challenge of sorts to ‘come prepared’ every time you plan to meet people socially. For some reasons I cannot do that as I am quite an antithesis of being ‘come prepared’. Well, I am organized, like to plan my life but when it comes to interaction or conversation I never follow any ‘guidebook’. Call it a good thing or a bad thing, I believe in being natural and can never wear a manipulative hat. But so many people shamelessly wear one and when caught red-handed they stage-manage with a plastic grin as if nothing happened. Well, nothing happened actually, for them.

But for me, it’s being unfaithful, disrespectful and not at all cool. I will continue to think this way even when you score a trillion and flash those painted lips. Because for me being simple/being upfront/being honest/being confident is the way of life. Thank heavens I don’t need to manipulate people.

I will be myself, but I will be careful the next time around. I promise, I will not again let anyone manipulate me….huh.. That’s a tall order!

Eatopia

Food is something that keeps me happy. Well, to tell you the truth- I just need to eat yummy food (more variety the better) and talk a lot. I guess these are the two most important things in my life. And the result is a happy and ‘satisfied’ me.

Tsk tsk…its so easy for you now, well….

Talking about food: food has been part of my life, this has marked many important occasions in my life, making food, entering people’s kitchens, getting people in my own kitchen, sharing recipes, recipes on emails, emails on recipe-sites, and once got a whole recipe dedicated to me ..hmm …how can I forget that blog? I am sure people are used to getting songs dedicated or such things when experiencing, you know, those blissful moments. And I was showered with, guess what, a recipe I was curious to learn and eat eventually (a tale of transcontinental, long distance romance!). Well…coming back to food and a blog on that, well, this is not to woo any nice guy but to ‘please’ two damsels in distress (if I may say so!).

Hmm…wait a bit…..I am explaining!

I just had a cozy little get-together at my new place last weekend and I got an opportunity to cook for an elaborate lunch. I am mostly into experimental cuisine (if that’s a term!) and most often add variety to the menu with food/ideas from different corners of the globe. I know I disappoint friends who come jumping to my place expecting Bengali cuisine complete with ‘maachher-jhol’ (read: fish curries); but then, I did make fish and curries, only thing is that these were two separate items this time around…ha ha..

But there must be something with Bengalis and fish. Because, of all the things I prepared, my fish preparation was liked, actually way too much for my expectation. This was a Portuguese style preparation in white sauce (ahh…there is something about white sauce and me these days…may be I am becoming Calcium deficient!) I learnt from a friend’s mother who's from Portuguese descent.

Before I delve deeper into that Portuguese fish thingy, the other items that landed on the table from my kitchen were (BTW, everything was prepared at home by me) as under:

Salad: fruity-veggie type with diced cucumber and apple with pomegranate, and a dash of lime just before tossing them together before serving

Mexican wild rice (ahh…. my paella fixation!): I collected this wild brown rice which grows in the wild, marshy areas in the Americas(I am into collecting brown rice or what?). My procedure is pretty simple. Soak rice overnight; put it on low flame with double the amount of water and add some salt, let it boil. Meanwhile on another pan heat oil, add garlic and ginger cubes- one teaspoonful, add spring onion with about two inches of stem- sliced vertically -about six of them, diced tomatoes- two medium sized, two green chilies, let this get cooked, little brownish. And when you get nice aroma as they are getting fried/cooked add three eggs to the mixture. Turn slowly and try to mix in with the veggies for nice scrambled eggs. Throw in peas, and sprinkle some tofu (I take a handful, crush them and spread it on top of the egg-veggie-scramble). Then take out rice (by this time rice is already boiled and cooked, try to check that from time to time- its easy for me as I have a big four burner stove) in a bowl (the serving bowl) and layer it with veggie-egg thingy. Mix it loosely. And you are ready for some healthy fiesta.

Vegetarian hot pot: This one was a last minute addition as a few of my friends like to eat vegetables along with fish and flesh err meat. And I learned to make vegetable broth at home (see, I told you everything was cooked at home). In vegetable broth- about two litres- add diced ginger and garlic-one tablespoon, bring this to boil. Then keep it on low flame and simmer. In another pan pour some oil, add a lot of mushroom (I like to cut then vertically into fours), cook this for about three minutes till they change color and evenly cooked. Add strips of baby cabbage-very thinly cut, and cook for another two minutes; add slices of baby carrots-about half inches thick. Transfer this mixture to the broth, stir well. Then add large cubes of tofu. Take it off from heat and cover. Garnish with whole spring onions-cut into fours- let them float on the surface.

Portuguese Fish: Boneless varieties are better; usually marine fishes are preferable. But I used Rohu (actually I have always used), only the portions from the stomach (its easy to de-bone from this part), cut into pieces-four by two inches. This time I marinated for about an hour with olive oil and vinegar (this was very experimental) with black pepper powder. Fry these pieces nice and crispy and set aside. This recipe has a special trick: the way other ingredients are cut. Potatoes-big sizes are better, onions- big, round ones are better. Potatoes are cut in long-tall slices- in lateral sections; onions are cut in slices- in cross sections, so that we get a lot of onion rings. Use a thick bottomed pan, pour oil (not miserly or else it wont taste like the way I made), heat oil for some time. Start with potatoes, sprinkle some whole black pepper seeds, turn potatoes occasionally and continue till they are little brownish. Add onion slices; these will soon break into rings. Start to cook/fry till these two are softer. Add fish pieces. And cook for about three-four minutes. Remove from fire. After it’s cooled down cover it with white sauce- I make it with milk and cheese and some barley/wheat flour. Keep it aside. Before serving heat it for 5 minutes in microwave (one can broil for 1 minutes in 100deg C; I use auto-cook mode for vegetable- which is 5 minutes in medium heat), this gives a light-brownish coat and nice aroma.

Chicken-Indian style (I don’t know which region in India!): I am calling it Indian style as I used regular ‘garam masala’, bay leaf, ginger, garlic paste, etc. To begin with I marinated chicken in yogurt and garlic, ginger paste, tomato paste, sprinkled some ‘meat masala’ and kept it aside for about one hour. On a thick bottomed pan (I used my wide mouthed pressure cooker which comes with a thick and slender bottom) heat oil, add cumin seeds, bay leaf-2/3, big chunky onions- cut into fours, cook for sometime. Then transfer the whole marinated chicken to the pan, keep stirring. Continue till all the spices are cooked/fried, and a smooth gravy is formed. Cover it and cook it till the time fork can smoothly pass through chicken pieces. It can be pressure cooked as well but it might get over cooked/over boiled.


For dessert I had melons (I got two different colors) cut into boat shaped pieces- smeared with sugar powder and honey. I had put this in the freezer for sometime for a thin crystal like crust on melons. And there was a freshly baked cake-Czech style- thanks to my friend from Prague.

Ahhh…and there was some nice Darjeeling tea and some baked cookies. And this time there was no wine (I still don’t have a cork opener) and nobody volunteered to open one of those Rioja to say cheers (my attempt to tempt this man with muscles failed, he wanted beer instead!)

Hope ‘damsels in distress’ are happy with this elaborate blog.

‘AM’, chak chaare? Don’t forget to call me when you are trying this fish recipe, I will love to eat them without doing any effort…..I love food more if someone else is cooking and I get to do ‘only eating’!!

Bon Appétit !

Of crossing roads and cross connections...

'Crossroad' has been a very common word in my usage off late. I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or bad. But literally I am finding myself at cross roads more often these days than ever before. I guess, you get what you think!! Ha ha ha..

Well, coming to think of ‘thinking’, I am thinking a lot more as well. Well, that’s normal of sorts, isn’t it? So many people have already mentioned that and have known this trait of mine. And I am OK with it rather than being defensive or not lending an ear for words of criticism. You know, some things are supposed to be the way it is. And I am happy the way I am. I am God’s own creation (this offends my mom the most ....huh!)

And another recent trend is that: a lot many people are telling things to me about me. Hmm, I wonder may be its time I really hear what they mean. Or may be its too many people in my life? And I am realizing its difficult to balance things in life when things are out of proportion. It holds good especially for me. Because I am an organized, sorta disciplined, and I am used to my ways of life where I am the only person involved; and the most contradictory aspect about it is that I am social and like to go out and meet friends. Arghh…its a dilemma to have a balance here. Because everybody cannot be like you and I am not in-charge of a military mission. So….

So, here I am sitting in front of a computer at my work-station with a bad headache, shoulder pain and what not. I realized how stressed I am myself and how stressful I could be for others. But then, is there a way out? I, for some reason, am for peaceful existence, healthy living and bonhomie. So, what shall I do? I should hide in one of those shells and get cocooned? Or go in for a diplomatic, ‘pseudo’, superficial way which is pleasant on the surface but without any bond of friendship, no straight-talking?

And after all these I hate to say: I am confused with myself. And yes, I figured out how difficult I could get and so-very-high-maintenance. Sometimes, these terms just don’t register the right meaning and often we (I) get defensive but actions or instances offer such glaring examples. Umm, now I have empirical evidence to say I could be cited as difficult and high-maintenance personality. I am so very happy to know that and I am grateful to people in my life as without them I would have never realized this. Sometimes, you need to bump into people to know your own self.

It just happened to me recently, three times in a row. Wow!

Hold All

Hold-all is something I have inherited, it’s a gift from heirloom, sort of ‘poitrik sompotti’ –which is kind of a treasure passed down from generation to another, from one’s dad (if I can offer a more specific translation for this Über-Bengali terminology), if I can label it that way! Thanks to our nomadic existence which warranted sturdy travel gears anytime of the year, in rains and in snows, every now and then …hmm….

And a hold-all is all I want when that’s an odd piece of article in my store room. Hope dad is not reading it, yikes!

Thinking of the term ‘hold-all’, I wish I could be one such myself when its such a difficult task to seal all those invisible pores which cry out loud from time to time to shed all the ‘stories’ all over. Umm, what an expression! Yes, I know exactly what I am talking about and you might need a wee bit of explaining here :)

As a person I am all words, spoken the better. Now you know what I am trying hard to ‘hold-all’ so badly.

I guess I have come to realize how this talkative nature is so irritating. This is a quality as I am never at odds in a new situation; I can just walk up to someone and talk. Well, that’s a good way to be not-so tongue-tied. But have you wondered what happens when in a group you are the only one who is all words? Sound-bites…err sound-byte!!
The same trait if exercised within limits could be very entertaining, social, and fun and if toppled a wee-bit more could be so very boring and not-attractive? I have found that out.
And I feel a mix of bad and sad :) Hehehe… I am incorrigible! (Gyan-paapi! Baaps, that's again a heavy duty Bong from my side..hic hic)

And sometimes I thank my stars when my friends are busy in midst of things, either running from one corner of the city to another or on treadmill or lost in contemplation or analyzing facts and figures or just browsing and away from their phones. I really thank my timing as that’s when I get to see what all I have in store to ‘pour’ out. And such times could be frustrating for someone who believes in voicing it out. But after all those turbulent times-which lasts for a good five-to-ten minutes, its all so serene and I am all so sane and rational.

Its actually a good idea to have those thoughts with you and not let those out the moment you see a pair of ‘willing’ears!! Oops, I feel so sorry for those who had been victims of my non-stop non-sense.. err …'stories of the day'-bout with a nice guise of smiling face and a set of twinkling eyes.

Silence is golden, said someone somewhere. May be not for me definitely! But I love Buddha and what all he says. I wish to listen to him…..

Hold all…err …hold on..I offer to change. Change is only constant.

And here goes Solna ‘holding all’ in prayers…“Buddham Sharanam Gachhami”. And Buddha smiles…

Happy and GAY

I am happy and I am gay…oops!

Anyway, stop calling me names, I really mean it. I get grumpy here.

This is a post-mortem of sorts after a nice concert and group dinner. One important mention of the evening is that it was dominated by a man who is always gay. The after effect: I feel happy after a weekend long me-time and a slow Monday with ‘work from home’. But I do feel tired on Tuesday afternoon with just four hours of sleep….yikes, don’t ask me why so much sleeping time was lost.

This is no bipolar thingy. It’s simple PMS and it’s normal. And it’s normal to feel moody. Just like some people are differently creative (wow, what a term!) I am differently moody and I sport different shades of mood. But most of all, if you really know me that well, I am a perky, happy, cheerful, all energetic kinda person (as if I owe you an explanation? I am fine the way I am.)

I just tried to re-read some of my old blogs (just to know what all some of my friends are reading and what all things they are finding out about me) and I was awesomely stunned at some of the descriptions I have written about me. And I really gave it a thought. But then how does it matter if you have a complete different interpretation reading what I write? Does this mean I stop writing the way I want to? Or I check what all meaning or interpretations are possible for some of my descriptions? I give a damn, seriously, I do.

The other day I was asked as if someone took me for a case of bipolar disorder just that I have been writing about mood swings, getting on sudden highs, and then low phases. Well, I have been just writing about me. I actually say more than I should …but….

You know I was actually upset when you probe based on what you read and enquire whether I could be case of a clinical condition. Anyway, it’s my fault. I should have taken care in using words like ‘going on a roller coaster ride’, ‘doomed’ etc with such generosity.

High or low, its business as usual and I realized one thing really hard: its only you ( I remember the number “Its only words, and words are all I have, to take. Your heart away”; I really like this song, ahhh, my guitar) and you only at the end of the day to help you out of a sticky wicket. And that you can only help yourself. And I am happy that I have me with me all the time. I love this moody-me so very much.

Ouch! Just going on for nose-dive…

I guess it is inevitable and I also knew its coming!

Yikes, I almost know how someone is reacting after reading this one sentence….Well, for your benefit Sir, I am explaining…so, don’t again say what you once said!!

I have been going through a very longish ‘high energy’ phase and it had to come to an end. It’s only normal. What is not normal is the erratic way it knocks me out. And I find me doomed in the middle of an important deadline and lose all my smartness and forget to flaunt my trademark smile (someone said ‘bewitching’) and for some reason get bogged down by the stare of that new-chick (I have a new term for her: ‘sophisticated-uncouth bitch’). I really hate when I am on such a sticky wicket… (Ouch, what’s happening down under with these men in Blue, losing matches after matches!!? I was referring to T20 matches in New Zealand and the losing streak India is continuing with…See, I am explaining!)

I guess I know what’s been happening…I mean in my zone, in my life, that is.

I have been happily spreading thin and not realizing the after effect as my energy level was high. I was wondering the other day when I was ruminating on my energy spurts as if I had taken some dope. Seriously, I can go on a high without anything and behave in such a manner which could be so very similar to someone just high on, say, marijuana. But I am naturally like this. My happy ‘high’ phase is very high and it shows. You will notice that bang on, no mistaking my presence.

But what comes after that is a very sudden, out-of-control ‘doomed’ phase. And I feel so utterly sorry for this. I have been on a roller-coaster ride and suddenly when I park myself within some unknown shell it surprises everyone around me and I am so very ‘shelled’ that I don’t offer an explanation and I know it could be irksome.

But for the benefit of my friends around me I have issued an 'update' (oops, so sophisticated, who cares?); have you seen my FaceBook off late? I know, its irrational. It can be seen as an act of immature mind. But I just wanted such an ‘absolute-ME-time’ that I have to enter into my shell without mincing any more words. And I am telling this way on my blog so that you all know I have not been avoiding any of you. But I just needed to have me with me, just in my skin, in my raw self, in my emotions, in my tears and… and…

I hope you will help me get my me-time and I wish to give time to you (I wish to meet you, sorry for the goof up this weekend) and see you when I have that nice smile to compliment my new hairdo. I don’t want to effect you with my moods. I care for you.

And I remember a phrase which is so apt: ‘conserve energy’. I need to learn that, its high time I do. And I also remembered just in time to 'cut the details' for a story well said!!

Hair and Now

I had a very exciting Valentine’s Day eve this year. Complete with a new hairdo followed by a sexy dinner date at a Chinese place where we ate some yummy lamb with nicely stinking bamboo shoot and got drunk on some Vodka shots. And I did a tipsy walking on my way home. No one noticed, only I knew I was drunk. It was a very nice feeling as when I am drunk I am super efficient; I even ordered around and asked a man to vacate the ladies seat on Metro; that was the last train, btw!

Ummm..this new hairdo is really hot…I mean I am liking it.

It started like this: I have been growing my hair for quite sometime actually. Hmm, there is a history to it. Some background for the readers: I remember the last two visits to hair salons, one was in January 2007 in Tirupathi (a kind of annual ritual which has become irregular) and the very last visit to a hair dresser was in November 2007 (that was just before a trip to shed some baggage, well….). After that I spared my hair and allowed them to grow and get longer. (It actually grew quite long; you can see for yourself in the picture taken just before I went under the scissors again.) This long hair looked cool until this winter when I struggled every morning with my entangled hair and ended up making either a bun or an untidy looking plait And for some reasons that was not helping my nice façade (read: face). Hmmm.

So, I have been giving serious thoughts about a new hair cut (read: short hair cut). Voila!
I not only got a great suggestion but also had a friend accompanying me for the session.

And it happened just a day before Valentine’s Day. First, I could not wait to get a new hairdo and then I would be gone and away for another week after that.

So, I meet Mujeeb after a busy Friday at work and pleasntly realized I was at a heritage site as he is the third generation creating magic with scissors since 1930. Wow, such impressive bio. And he played with my hair, worked with it and ultimately came up with this new one for me. I was at one point feeling like a guinea pig with onlookers around me; I really created such a big thing out of this that my session took quite long and others in the salon got thoroughly entertained! BTW, I saw a very nice looking man who was waiting for his turn. And I later found out that he had come to shave off his hair as he lost a bet. Hmmm! But I rather liked him…shhhh. He even came prepared with a sexy cap; I quite liked his flowing hair, but they are all gone now…hmm.

Coming back to my new hairdo, I was really impressed, not just with the result but with the way he played with his scissors. He simply is superb in understanding your need, the person you are and the kind of look would go well on you. So, I am not only looking a few years younger (that’s a good thing!) and trendy but I am also having a very low maintenance look for my ‘on the go’ lifestyle (a very good thing!).

And at the end of it I was so excited that I had to celebrate, so went on to dine with my friend. And you know I had a fabulous time this Valentine’s Day. I am loving every bit of it.

So, now you know I had a great time this Valentine’s Day…..

P.S: I will back with my N-counter series once I am back from the fabulous land of Mizos.

Counter that..

I am in the middle of finding out where Mamit is located and I had this thought about updating my BlogSpot. Oops, such a thought; especially when it means sitting in glass cabinets and stealing time from work. But I am just being creative and I have nothing pending on my desk and I am all set for a trip to far North East on work!

I remember updating my Face Book status to 'suddenly she is on a high' a few days ago and which is true. I am most certainly on a high, not high on alcohol as you may think. But this is kinda feeling high and relishing it (I almost had a serious tête-à-tête with one of my friends whether this is any symptomatic variation of mood swings/bipolar or other such disorders). I was not worried but I am getting conscious with comments from friends and alike. I call it 'my high energy phase'. But I like this active, lively, miss-sunshine state of mine. This state identifies my being to the 'T'. Hmmm, I wonder as if I suddenly discovered me…voila!

So, you know I am on a high. And it shows- be it with friends after a tiring (call it boring) day at work for an impromptu tea at our favorite cha-bar, be it about marking an attendance at a film festival sans anyone (I remember one comment 'you went alone?'), be it with travel plans (I have been rather prolific all these weekends, traveling non-stop for short weekend trips and making quite a list), house work (I am still revamping…oops, its never ending or may be I am fussy that I always feel 'that picture frame isn't great, lets change the color of the wall..etc etc') and ultimately I hear my wise (and very nice and great looking) brother say 'you really have energy for all these!' with loads of appreciation mixed with awe in his tone. Hmm, I love praises and especially the genuine ones.

I was meaning to write about some N-counters for quite some time. And before I deviate to another idea I must document these very thought provoking and life changing philosophies of life. I have been specially saving them since December last and still haven't managed to document them.

N-counter #1: I am standing in a line at a bank counter and I am at my most irritated state. I like plastic transactions, any day! And counting currencies are not for me. I would hate it if I have to carry them with me and then deposit them and then find a long queue waiting to greet me at the bank! Hmm, so you know what irritated me that day. And when ultimately my line started to move I found one gentleman stealthily positioning himself near the counter such that he can bypass the line. It made me mad. First, I started to murmur and then in more audible sound protested; this made my predecessor in the line direct his grievances to the gentleman in question. The gentleman turned and said 'no line for senior citizen'. Oops, I almost looked for a cover. Then after his turn he stopped to do some thing at the counter and by that time my turn came. We looked at each other, face to face, eye to eye. And then he smiled and said 'I just came in to deposit what all I saved from this month's expenses'. I was rather taken aback at his simplicity. I came back home remembering those words, especially when we are not having sunny days financially. This little savings and the whole idea of not expanding our needs are so important to realize.

This remained with me for quite sometime and I still remember the golden words, the thought behind it.

Hmm. This is all for this post. I hope I could describe well this time and especially for someone who started to read my blog recently with a hope he will not crib about its 'tantalizingly incomplete' description.

And I will be back with more on N-counters. Promise!