Travel and thoughts uncensored

Remember writing an email just before starting a 'voyage' way back, well, its kinda repetitive. I go through a strange kind of phase before I leave for a tour. And today, I found myself doing the same. Didnt write an email though, but was 'writing' a similar note, a checklist in my mind.

Hmm, coming to think of it, looks like I have a remnant from some previous lives, and I am still figuring it out. Given the kind of travel I do, I shouldn't have such jitters at all. But, what to do, I am sharing what I go through, real honest. Who knows, I probably have died in travel mode in my last birth? Who knows, probably I had lost all communications with my near and dear ones once I set out for that voyage?

Ha ha ha, sounding psychic, real strange, no? But, its ok to have different thoughts coming up and I let them be as they are....

Yes, its gonna be a lot of travel and its giving me a lot of jittery moments. Its kinda, I know everything will be alright but there are those moments of nerves which prepares me for the sojourn, which tells me its time to start packing, its time to give one last look at that Budhha picture before you close your apartment door, its time to start the voyage.

And I am preparing for all the voyages in store for me this year, and I know who all are counting... Ahh, let me explain...

Friend 1: "how many pages are left on your passport"
Moi: its my second passport, should be enough to accommodate my travel in 2011 :-)

Friend 2: "how many new places, this time"
Moi: (taking time) 1+1+1+1...four places in next two months

Friend 3 (a very cute one): "I am counting, so its going to be 20+ countries, eh?"
Moi: whoops, is that true, wow....you surely count :-)

Well then, you got the picture. And I gotta go, have to start packing. And I dont have anyone help me taking that suitcase down, ok...I will manage.

One hell of a BITCH :-)

This is from one of those forwarded emails and I just couldnt stop laughing :-)
Well, here's something to all the super-duper bitches in this world (including moi!)
And btw, I like the second abbreviation the most, I like, I like :-)

"When I stand up for
Myself and my beliefs,
They call me a
Bitch.

When I stand up for
Those I love,
They call me a
Bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
Or do things my own way, they call me a
Bitch.

Being a bitch
Means I won't
Compromise what's
In my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to
Tolerate injustice and
Speak against it, I am
Defined as a
bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for
myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I 'should' be...

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, just try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch ,so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle 'anything'"

Its about Everything....

Everything by Alanis Morissette

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

Dreams uncensored!

Hmmm....I do dream a lot. Yes, I do live in my own world, my world of dreams. I am happy that I have dreams, I am happy that I live to see my dreams come true. Yes, its true, dreams do come true.

I am reliving one such moments when I see my dreams coming true. Looks like this year is going to be a dreamy year. This year is going to be an amazing year. This year will be my globe trotting year! Yes, I am awake, wide awake and seeing my dreams come true.

I am happy that the nomad in me will have an opportunity to set her feet on different soil, on different shores, and on different mountains. She will have her moments of joy with air in her hair which she so fondly loves. She will have moments of happiness filling her tummy with different food, gorging on different tastes. She will have her time of her life setting her eyes on wonderful monuments which stood the test of time.

Hmmm....I am already sensing the itch, and the 'mustard seeds under my feet' started to roll again! Whoosh......

Yes, dreams do come true. Dream. Live. Be happy.

Quote Unquote

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do... Explore. Dream. Discover." - Mark Twain

Life's a Beach.....

Life is like a wave, things go and things come….sounds like as if I am writing this from middle of a beach holiday, no? I would have loved that….what a thought! Probably, deep within, I am longing for one such holiday, just to listen to the gurgle as waves after waves keep crashing on the shore, soaking in all the air laden with smell of the sea, soaking all the warmth of the sun from under those shades of palm groves, while leisurely hanging from my hammock.

Now, coming to talk about where I started this post….Well, to tell you the truth, I am growing patient with me, and watching me how me goes about doing things, how things around me keep happening….

Its amazing to realize that most of the time you don’t have to do anything, things just happen…just go with the flow….and there it feels so meaningless, so foolish to be so pumped up about things, so charged up about some work….yes, its just our way of looking at things. Its our way of making us think that we are important and that we are making things happen.

Coming to talk about waves, I am seeing an amazing pattern these days around me. Well, more precisely about people around me. And call me psychic, call me intuitive, call me whatever….but I feel as if I am living in a déjà-vu, I kinda am watching a movie which seemed to be so known!

Yes, I am seeing some kind of pattern around me, with people around me. People around me - they come and then they go. People around me are moving in and then moving out. People around me are getting pulled in by a huge magnetic force in my life and then they are disappearing somewhere as if another huge magnet pulled them in another pole. And with this goings and comings, I see a pattern- I am just mere a spectator, I have no role to play…or rather I cannot do anything. I have no control. I like it that way, I don’t want to control, its much less work if things happen on its own. Yeah, I am a lazy bum with a nice façade. I am a control freak who wants to be nice, and doesn’t know how to pretend. Honestly, I don’t want to control anything. I just see things and I know what all are happening, probably why things are happening but again I try just to watch the show and not be part of it.

Have you ever done this? If you ever, then you will see how cool it is to be a watcher, to be a by-stander, to be a mere passerby in this game of life as waves after waves keep crashing at your feet when you walk on those soft sands all soaked up, all warm yet so wet from the sun and from the water, on that beach. Suddenly everything looks so serene, so beautiful, just so very relaxing.

Yes, letting go of things is indeed very calming. I have done that, I have lived that. And I like living that way…..

Quote-Unquote

"Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile."

Feelin' light.....

"Introspection is the self-observation and reporting of conscious inner thoughts, desires and sensations. It is a conscious mental and usually purposive process relying on thinking, reasoning, and examining one's own thoughts, feelings, and, in more spiritual cases, one's soul." Feelin' good...Happy that I did this today (wide grin)

the air around me :-)

Love air in my hair….umm…I love it when cool breeze plays with my unruly locks…..I like it when its disheveled, just out of bed. Well, that’s my look actually…I have a real nice, low-maintenance look and I don’t even need a comb! This hairdo just sits so perfectly on me, err suits me so well, every time, all the time, while on vacation, while I am at work, after shower and even on a bad hair day!

Don’t know why of all topics I am talking about hair….well, loved air in my hair this morning, while seeping some nice Darjeeling tea in my balcony. Yeah, spring is here….

Yes, I know why I am talking about my hair. Because, just the other day a certain colleague commented on my hair and I kinda didn’t understand whether she was complimenting or being sarcastic. If I corroborate the conversion it almost could sound ‘why don’t your hair fall?’ (smirk!) Well, I offer benefit of doubt and move on thinking probably she is envious of my lush unruly locks and may be my hair is note-worthy. Hmm…I mean what else you could do in such a situation? Would you try showing her that your hair is glued on the scalp with some fancy gel? Ha ha ha….

Moving on…from hair to air…And talking about air, I do have an air about me. Well, we all have and it’s not a bad thing. I rather feel a certain air about yourself is really cool, it’s confidence building, it’s encouraging, it’s infectious. And it’s all how you play the air….'play the air'? well….read on….

Call me arrogant, call me difficult, and call me troublesome. I know one thing for sure, someone just could not topple me and probably all roughed up so hence such names. I don’t mind either. Call me whatever you may, I will care if you are worth paying attention to. And most times I get such names from people who either just found them in a sticky situation, who are unfair, who are unprofessional and trying to get through me, who are outright incompetent and trying to get into a logical conversation. Well, I don’t mind failing but I will never go down without a fight. I feel it’s my obligation to reason out, and show things the way it is. And I can be a tough nut despite such lush hair and real nice façade (wide grin)

I know it’s only when I give you a tight fight and you see red in the eye, you mouth such names. Well…

I love the air I wear, I love the way I am. Because I know I am walking straight, I am walking in all fairness and I am walking the walk I can walk. I do what I can, I never try to do more than I can do. I only do things what my pocket allows me, which I gracefully own. Thus I despise people who flaunt larger than life persona and forget to pay the bill at a fancy restaurant where they invite themselves. I pity such gluttons who only can fill their mouths with others money. I call such creatures a failure with all academic degrees they accumulate from around the globe when they are unmindful of courteous behavior. What is the point when you cannot think of spending a penny from your pocket for your travel and ask for change from the host at a housewarming get together? What is the point when you invite someone on her birthday and let her pay for the party? Such parasites are burden on this planet and it’s worthwhile if you know them at the earliest and weed away.

And end of the day, I could care less if such parasites call me names….as it’s not worth wasting time and energy on such non-worthy things. O’yeah, I really love the air I have about me, the air in my hair, and my hair looks great….and its gonna be like this for some more time. So, I can tell a certain someone that the wait’s gonna be long (wink)

Eye-ohhh (2)

"I can still see that lovely eye liner that you’d put the last time I met you. It really made your eyes look gorgeous."

Ouch....I just read this in an email sent to me and I said "eye-oh!"...err aiyo! This has reference to a meeting at a lecture and it seems people notice my eyes and remember them, I wonder people also remember what I speak so passionately on Tuberculosis researches I do in India. Hmmmm....

What can I do? I do have real nice eyes, as they say gorgeous eyes :-) Call me a narcissist but there have been precedences as well.

Eyes Eyes Baby Baby!!

On the "Face" of it.....

Lets face it, ok? Well, we have been facing these a lot these days and that's why I say, lets face it, huh?

It was an emotional moment that afternoon when she felt a pang in her heart as she typed " that was a time when we lived in the same neighborhood and met everyday in the class and then there was a time when we didnt have any news about each other and now here is another time when we are looking at each others pictures and chatting on FaceBook".

Once they were neighbors and they were best of friends and there wasnt a day when they never met each other except for those six weeks when her family would travel out of the city during summer vacations each year. Well, that was the time...

Now here is another time when he saw her picture first time ever, a photograph that is, when her name appeared on a common friend's friend list. Umm....things change, time changes, and looks change too....and wow, she looks different. Nice.

So on the face of it, its nice to be in touch with long lost friends and nice to see how old friends share notes, how friends are curious about life, how we keep moving in our lives and how we get into different paths when we had started together and how our paths cross when we have no idea where we started. Well.....

Nice, I am happy, things are moving, things are shaping up, things are making sense. And there was that smile, that happy smile that I love and I long for....

That afternoon, from within that music, from within that euphoria there was that moment which was so perfect, so unusual and yet so in-sync that everything felt normal. Yet it was different. Nice.