Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Drug. Sex. Insomnia.


Its well past midnight and I am doing some serious ‘burning midnight oil’ and it’s all about sex and drugs, err…drugs and sex. Well, this is no romantic escapades I am chronicling, if reading this far you envisaged some juicy anecdotes in the following paragraphs! Be warned, I am gonna talk about some real serious, real deep and really heart wrenching stories. And it involves me…yes, poor me!

I am happy that I finally got over that writer’s block I was suffering from and I am happy that I finally have a complete report right in front of me! Ah, I remember I did promise someone that I would share this piece of work I managed walking through all those spells of insomnias – well, it is now ready for public consumption! And I am really happy. Its rather not happy but a feeling which is so confidence boosting, a feeling which feels like as if someone is whispering sweet nothings into my ears! Well, it feels nice. That nice kinda nice :-)

Drug. Sex. Insomnia and a sleepy moi!

Some nights, working on my notes, I find myself sleeping on my belly with my face perched on the laptop keyboard. And then after couple of ‘turtle hours’ I wake up in the brightly lit bedroom to the tune of Sinatra. This could have been a scene of some nice, romantic, ‘sex-capades’, but alas it’s in my dreams, I dreamt of those tight embrace and those thick muscular arms!

Like a flower….

Picture this: Norah Jone’s husky voice filled the balmy air in the bedroom. It’s in closed door-window mode with dust storm outside– precautions for poor lungs which cant suck in thick air. Marquez’s orange yellow paperback lays upturned at page 17 and ‘remember me with a rose’ brushing on those tulip bed sheet, in the middle of a re-reading mode!

Oh, that orange yellow cover covered that famed cholera…err ‘Love in the time of Cholera’. Somewhere, that Medical Anthropologist and that Public Health Specialist and that traveller loses herself to a thing in the past on an unknown Spanish road, camouflaged as a Latina! Well, it had happened before; she had lost her ways to find her ways in life. And that was Barcelona. From Paella to Park Güell to Gaudi to Picasso and getting drenched in cava in those old Spanish pubs. Seven years since. Flashback moments and there was love. There was that husky voice, cat calls as you stop by the paid phone booth to make those phone calls to hear to that thick baritone from across the ocean. Yes, ocean! Hmm….flashback indeed!

Well, to come back to where it started from, yes, finally, suddenly, everything around feels so light, unburdened, as if there’s that lightness, a certain high from the first puff you suck in, as if there’s that slight buzz when you take a deep gulp after a nice swirl in your mouth, as if you just got kissed eyes all closed, all dreamy and light and as if a light feather just floated on the naked body.

The writing on ‘drugs and sex’ is complete and I am done with! and it all feels so dreamy yet real. Yes, drugs-sex and a bit of insomnia.. err …dreams :-)


Deep into the dark sky there are some stars smiling. Nice fragrant gardenias fill the air. A hint of sandalwood oil lingers on the nape and those saffron threads float on the water.

Surreal. Ecstatic. Blissful.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Its about Everything....


Everything by Alanis Morissette

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Happy and GAY

I am happy and I am gay…oops!

Anyway, stop calling me names, I really mean it. I get grumpy here.

This is a post-mortem of sorts after a nice concert and group dinner. One important mention of the evening is that it was dominated by a man who is always gay. The after effect: I feel happy after a weekend long me-time and a slow Monday with ‘work from home’. But I do feel tired on Tuesday afternoon with just four hours of sleep….yikes, don’t ask me why so much sleeping time was lost.

This is no bipolar thingy. It’s simple PMS and it’s normal. And it’s normal to feel moody. Just like some people are differently creative (wow, what a term!) I am differently moody and I sport different shades of mood. But most of all, if you really know me that well, I am a perky, happy, cheerful, all energetic kinda person (as if I owe you an explanation? I am fine the way I am.)

I just tried to re-read some of my old blogs (just to know what all some of my friends are reading and what all things they are finding out about me) and I was awesomely stunned at some of the descriptions I have written about me. And I really gave it a thought. But then how does it matter if you have a complete different interpretation reading what I write? Does this mean I stop writing the way I want to? Or I check what all meaning or interpretations are possible for some of my descriptions? I give a damn, seriously, I do.

The other day I was asked as if someone took me for a case of bipolar disorder just that I have been writing about mood swings, getting on sudden highs, and then low phases. Well, I have been just writing about me. I actually say more than I should …but….

You know I was actually upset when you probe based on what you read and enquire whether I could be case of a clinical condition. Anyway, it’s my fault. I should have taken care in using words like ‘going on a roller coaster ride’, ‘doomed’ etc with such generosity.

High or low, its business as usual and I realized one thing really hard: its only you ( I remember the number “Its only words, and words are all I have, to take. Your heart away”; I really like this song, ahhh, my guitar) and you only at the end of the day to help you out of a sticky wicket. And that you can only help yourself. And I am happy that I have me with me all the time. I love this moody-me so very much.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

aung-BONG-chong

aung-BONg-chong......I am only humming these.
They say Bong Connection...err I say, loose connection.
Stay put and be alert. Ha ha ha.

P.S: For those who cannot decipher Bengali: its a sound track (a remixed version in the movie by the same singer) from a film named "Bong Connection" (Bong meaning Bengali) . Sorry for not able to give you a word-to-word translation here. I am so kicked with the sound of 'aung-Bong-chong'......he he he!
Enjoy the sound bytes err music...Sound of Music...nice guiter there.