Sunday, October 28, 2007

Moving on…

I am on a self-imposed sabbatical from my blog as I am divided between mundane activities I undergo before I set out for a trip (again?). And yet I chose to mark my attendance at the blog as I cross-check with the hotel for airport pick-up. Why? Well…

Its some kind of an upheaval I generally undergo just before one of those sojourns and I regard this as one of those. Its about moving from one city to another for me and for another its about moving from one house to another. And I know how it feels when we pack our bags and look at the empty corner which once had the lamp-stand; how it is to know that those spaces would be filled up in completely different fashion when the next resident comes and how those pangs feel when we have treasured some nice moments and shared those hearty laughs sitting on that couch which now sits in the box in a dismantled state ready for a ride.

It’s quite a weak moment, quite an emotional moment.

And I know all of that from my experience of moving almost on an annual basis with my assignments in different places. And it’s doubly emotional when the ghost from the past re-visits you when you are just about to lock your apartment doors after surveying the empty space the last time. And it happened this way yesterday when things occurred the way it was never planned; words were spoken the way they were never expected and you have no clue why it happened and how it happened: the timing, the location, the emotion, and everything.

And something within me moved as I made space to walk around amidst those packed boxes and furnitures. It’s the feeling we have when we decide to move on; it’s the feeling we have when we move on even if the ghost wants to uncork the bottle and tries to cast a spell; it’s the feeling when we know where to step on even if there is a second thought; it’s the feeling that says its over even if its difficult to erase the memory; it’s the feeling that tells which one to hold on to even if you are spoilt for choices.

And life goes on…you move on...I move on. It’s just those few minutes our paths were crossed. And I have to move from here anyway or else I will miss the flight; miss the trip which I painstakingly planned; miss the opportunity to feel the nomad in me. And I don’t want to miss anything else and I don’t miss a thing. You get me? We have one life and we get one chance!

Wish you a safe journey, a journey called life! Best wishes....

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Quote-Unquote

"If I had to choose a religion, the sun as the universal giver of life would be my god". Napolean Bonaparte

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Quote-Unquote

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle". - Bob Hope

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Colors in my ribbons…

Colors make my life lively and I am fond of colors, which are bright, which are happy, and I feel colorful being with colors. I play with different colors on my canvas, I like to have different colors on my clothes and on my window drapes and my surrounding. Flowers in my vases wear happy colors, lilies in my garden smile in different colors and so are those along the pathway to work. Candles I lit in the evenings shine in colors, pens at my desk write in different hues and the ribbons….

In our awareness-maniac times ribbons or for that matter differently colored ribbons give different messages. Wondering how we had moved from colors signifying emotions to colors indicating illnesses or health conditions or social causes. And I see a long COLORful list:

Red ribbon: AIDS awareness
Pink ribbon: Breast cancer awareness
Yellow ribbon: Yellow ribbon symbolizes Suicide awareness and prevention and also endometriosis awareness (and finding cure for them).
White ribbon: White ribbon often signifies feminism and one of the most notable usages of the white ribbon in recent times is as the symbol of violence against women, safe motherhood, and other related causes.
Blue ribbon: This is the color of ocean, sea and hence any water bodies and used to signify Prostate cancer awareness (sky blue).
Jade ribbon: This colored ribbon spreads information about hepatitis B and liver cancer.
Orange ribbon: This is for animal protection awareness
Grey ribbon: Denotes diabetes awareness
Green ribbon: Signifies organ transplant and donation awareness
Teal ribbon: This is for ovarian cancer and polycystic ovarian syndrome
And the list goes on…and one last color from the remaining for my blog:

Black ribbon: It is worn or displayed as a political statement.

And then I hear a suggestion at a luncheon on colors I should wear more often. See, do I have a choice there? Yes, I like the color RED, more deep the better for its passion, for red roses, red wines, and those red dresses!

Gimme, RED!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Quote-Unquote

"When in doubt, mumble; when in trouble, delegate; when in charge, ponder." James H Boren

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Chivalry in the time of ….

Our behavioral pattern says so much about the kind of person we are. And often 'others' pick up the nuances from the ‘doer’ more than the ‘doer’ itself. And it’s all in front of your eyes. A shrug there, a twitch of facial muscle there, a handshake or the way you bid goodbye, everything tells your side of the story. However impressive your voice could sound from the other end of the world but a look at you while you are at it could truly say whether you could REALLY, well…. And our age old, much cliché-ed saying seeing is believing still rules the roost!

We all have heard the word called ‘chivalry’ sometime in our lives and however well we cram the codes of chivalry its our action which qualifies us as one.

And I know how it was when those shrugs could not hide what all was going on in the head. And I know how it was when those drinks little too many needed to be relieved off at a regular intervals. And I know how it was when one fails to say thank you after singing a song or say goodbye when it was time to say one. And I know how it was when the handshake was just not warm enough to seal it with a kiss. And I know how you spell chivalry however logically you claim you compose. I know how one can still remain ill-mannered, ill-behaved even after twirling with an ivy. And I know what it means to get rid of something where chivalry does not exist…

And I know what I saw. And I believe! Ahem!

Friday, October 19, 2007

My First Cut!



This should have been Solna’s first blog, the numero uno from her stable but the way things flowed she did soak up the issue and kept it all tucked up in her mind! But the stain remained in her thoughts. And that was enough to remind her about it all over again…and she is at it again. Call it a Period!

Well, that’s not to our very familiar 'fullstop' but the menstrual cycle all fertile (sic) females undergo regularly, monotonously, naturally, obediently, cyclically..phew! Damn, its that common term we use to refer the phenomenon, Period!

I would be dishonest if I don’t mention a blog and that discussion with the blogger which gave me a mental-shake the other day which made me think about it more vigorously than the shake even!

That was the time when I was contemplating on starting my own blog, that was the time I was stranded in the center of middle of no-where, that was the time I wanted a pair of ear to vent out my thoughts, that was the time when I wanted to undertake a journey to a place oh-so romantic and that was the time when my mind was fertile and thoughts were ripe and aplenty. And then came my moment of turbulence on that gloomy morning at the banks of Narbada.

I have a rebel in me. I have never bowed down to mundane traditions or superstitions without my share of reasoning but this is one such issue which makes me say, “I am down but not out yet”! Well, the ghost of this superstition has remained with me and revisits me from time to time to make me get those ‘doubtful’ moments, shall I or shall not I?

A woman is rendered ‘polluting’ during this period and she is forbidden from many of day-to-day activities (since I am not intending anything academic here I restrain myself from going in details as things are changing and this itself is a matter of debate and there are cultural variations). Well, to bring the point home: a menstruating woman is different from a non-menstruating woman. And whether a woman is menstruating is privy to herself or some of her close female (mostly) relatives. So, the decision to enter a shrine and paying reverence to the almighty is completely at the discretion of the ‘polluting’ individual when she declares herself one.

It is where Solna stood at the banks of Narbada as the clouds in her mind and the ghost of the superstition fought a gloomy battle for her to see no sign or indication. And she stood there at the banks of Narbada. And the superstition remained and so did the stain.

But at last the thoughts are released and the blog happened. The first cut which took time to release, to see the light of the day. Its Sunshine time in Solna’s mind. And she hums a song which says…"The First Cut Is the Deepest"..well....

And now standing in front of yet another sanctum sanctorum of a goddess who is worshipped for power Solna hears her mind murmuring what happens when SHE gets her period?

True, period has etched a strong impression in her mind.
Well, its Period for now!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sex in the City!


Its ‘Sex in the City’ for me these days…its all so sex-ed up!!
Well, I am not talking about the famous sitcom anyway but something where I or for that matter my life is getting all so full of sex!

Hmm, need to explain a bit more to make you stop from taking a wrong direction, stop rolling your eyeballs and keep those heavily mascara-ed eyelashes at rest…ahhh, breathtaking eyes!

It has been a regular affair for me to get queries on sex..umm sexual behaviors and such at work and also from friends. Hold on! Before you wear your detective glasses let me tell you I am no sex-agony aunt or a pornstar but my work on high-risk population for HIV makes me a reliable source of information on such oh-so clandestine matters.
And I have been hearing queries, doubts of my friends, sometimes from my friends for their friends.

But suddenly things were too much for me: wherever I go or look I only see or hear or read sex and I thought I should take a break and relieve off my tensions…umm!

My day at work was as usual: I had to go through the signs of forced sex and things like that. And then, an old friend typed in a passage asking me to comment on its validity as she and her gang of women friends had doubt on …well, you guessed it by now. I dutifully answered, discussed. Then I went back to my chores in that new city and it was tiring as when I travel I am extra finicky about things...thats a different story! Then there was a phone call from a long lost friend and I was at my warmest best to let (IT) know I was in travel mode and that we could have an extended conversation when I land at my turf. In doing so I did mention about the historic places I could sneak in that afternoon and pop came the question: those erotica? Well, I did not see any to arouse my senses..oops! Anyway. Then almost at the stroke of midnight my IM popped up another face in doubt, now on behalf of someone else: I tried to rightfully answer (them). As if these were not enough, my ‘conference reminder’ sent me an invitation to attend a conference which is a discourse on how to write well on sex! And I ask, what?
And I came back home over the weekend to know two of my friends are expecting and then on Monday when I was back at my desk with that ‘sunny’ view I was treated with a news that stork has visited two (or three? is not her husband my colleague as well?!) of my colleagues’ families…And I say, what?

I tell you, its all-so sex-ed up here. Give me a breather, please! Ufff!

Quote-Unquote

“No matter how dark the night, somehow the sun rises once again and all shadows are chased away" David Matthew

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Within a Cobweb


Past few weeks had given me enough reasons and time to ponder, situations gave me enough of ‘me-time’, locations had given me enough of solitude and friends had given me enough of space to brew my thoughts and then my loved ones had given me the strength to walk with my thoughts till culmination. And my pregnant mind could successfully deliver what I have been nourishing, nurturing for, well, a few weeks! Yes, I want to be a mother, want to hold my baby when it comes out my womb and the wait is killing me. But, not any more: I have delivered my thoughts, something which is so mine, so my own. And thoughts remain with me as a shadow like a toddler holding on its mother and we exist together, inseparable.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Quote-Unquote

"Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise." - Paul Engel.

October song


I'll sing you my October song, there is no song before it
The words and tune are not my own, my joy and sorrow bore it
Beside the sea, the brambly briar in the still of evening
Birds fly out from behind the sun, and with them I'll be leaving

The fallen leaves that jewel the ground, they know the art of dying
And leave with joy their glad gold hearts in scarlet shadows lying
When hunger calls my weary footsteps home, the morning follows after
I swim the seas within my mind, the pine-trees laugh green laughter

I used to search for happiness, and I used to follow pleasure
But I found a door behind my mind, and that's the greatest treasure
For rulers like to lay down laws, and rebels like to break them
And the poor priests like to walk in chains and God likes to forsake them

I met a man whose name was Time, he said, I must be going
But just how long ago that was I have no way of knowing
Sometimes I could murder time, when my heart is aching
But mostly I just like to stroll along the path that he is taking

(as sung by The Corries)

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

May you rest in peace!



Today is 2 October and I write a tribute. Its not for the 'bapu' but a 'dadu'!

That was a deal: you get a testimonial and you write me a eulogy. I did not take it seriously. Testimonial happened nevertheless. Then it was repeated again: you get a blog dedicated to you and you write me a eulogy. Blog came, all sunshine and all that. I still brushed off the idea of eulogy with my regular charming smile! Awesome!

Then one day I was reminded of my debt. I paused and retorted back, what? In no mood to get swept by another emotional trip I was rather rude and harsh. That’s something which comes very naturally to me…it’s bitter-sweet truth about me! Lovely!
Then I was told ‘in bold and underline’ that the demand was genuine and he wanted it before he really ‘needs’ it. Well, to tell you the truth I brushed aside the demand in my mind even though I did not speak my mind that evening, you see, I was busy! I was paying attention on my presentation…oh-so important is the plight of rape victims.

And it was off and away from my mind or scheme of things until this morning when I read about the death of a rhinoceros (I’m really sad, I feel like losing my family member!) and I was reminded of that eulogy stuff again. So, you know whom to thank for this one: you may want to thank the reporter who published it or the chap who decided to send this particular edition to my room and then thank heavens that I had time to browse before dashing off all bright and bleary eyed! Oh-so HOT!

Well, coming back to eulogy: I have never done this and no one has ever asked me to do this. Though I remember a request for playing a particular tune when funeral time comes which is no more in my scheme of things and the task had fallen on another shoulder. Whatever…

I am no writer and have no magic with my words though listening to ‘its only words’ brings tears in my eyes…did not you say, grievous eyes? I thought they are beautiful?
Hope I do justice to the job for which I am the chosen one (I am saying a silent prayer…hope your mum does not read this one!)

My deepest feeling tells he is a good soul. I have first met him more than twenty sunny years ago, the day I begun my classes in that new school in New Delhi and that was it, only that much. ‘Dadu’ to all: a class mate; little shy, introverted and definitely he preferred keeping his own group of friends. So, at the end of our school-years we only knew each other from distance. I know people did keep me at distance; there was a lot of awe or woes! Nevertheless, I was aware about his participation in school activities and I am sure he knew about what all I did to make news as that was easy! There was an instance where he did land up at my place with some other friends just as when we finished school and all set to face the big bad world and there we lost each other.

Call it a surprise or miracle we found each other after 14 years through a common e-forum. It was our school again: our common point.

Is this what you read on eulogy? No? Well, then you hunted a wrong head for the job!

A friend who shares some of your passions: traveling and trekking and then we found another common passion for photography. O’ how can I forget our exchanges on cooking tips? He gives words to what I think in my mind and cant express; he becomes my dictionary when some idiot makes me stumble with words; he inspires me for maintaining my blog; he is a comfort when life suddenly makes you feel its all thorns and roses were fake; he makes me read male psyche and at the same time make me go ahead on the ‘knotty’ road and tells me the difference between a feminist and a rebel and suffers silently when people poke their dirty noses on his personal life and push him to choose a path which he does not have an inclination to tread. And then he confuses me on things which are oh-so personal!
My friend, I can understand you, at least I try to. Understanding a human is a complex affair and I aint any specialist. I don’t know whether I really follow what you write and say but I try to.

And now things look so different: ‘dadu’ is a dude; we have a gang of common friends; our locations are at stone’s throw distance and then I have to keep tab of the time when he would need a eulogy….what a job! Dude, I have never taken any assignment without a contract….you get me?

Its time I thank the great lord for getting me a friend in life when I needed one. Thanks dude for being there. Thanks for the gift of two weeks for life would have been very different without you. Now I know I am HIS chosen one, HE likes to see my smiling face when people are hell-bent for a sob-story on display! Sweetness!

Tell me, in this world can a man and a woman only be friends, when both are single and ready to mingle? Ummm, that’s the question everyone is shooting and I am badly wounded…: show me the meaning of being …err thats a song..oops..which is the way to emergency, I need first aid fast? Fallen head on…too much of vodka, you see…hic hic!

Just let me know how much time do I get at the funeral for my eulogy? That’s rude? Well…wake up…it’s not the time yet. Follow me? Stand there and bask in the Sun as long as it shines, go grab your moment under the Sun, so said Solna!

Are you laughing here? Good for me, I like the way you laugh! Ummmm…
Eulogy which is not one…..thank you and no thank you!

Monday, October 1, 2007

A Poison Potion


Talking about addiction, poison and such things.….phew…I am still at it…. oops, its an old habit which hasn’t died yet! And the thing of the matter is that I like all these: to dwell on things and the hangover after trying on different drinks, that is.

My latest addition err addiction is a thing from Czech by the name of BECHEROVKA. A friend from Prague very recently introduced me to this 'satwik' drink and I am happy that I developed a liking for the herbal drink

BECHEROVKA is a speciality liqueur produced solely and only from medicinal herb extracts (composition is a secret) macerated in spirit using original Karlovy Vary water and barrels made from oak which are placed in cellars at a natural temperature. Every day their own laboratories check the chemical results of the macerating processes and the results of the maturing in barrels.

It has many uses, can be used as: a complement to your digestive routine and its regular and healthy functioning; a pleasant and effective aperitif before meals and digestive after meals; a pleasurably bitter "long drink" for any opportunity during the day; a base for many delicious cocktails, especially aperitifs like Be-Ton. And most definitely for raising a toast for health and jolly good time!
And it can cure of all ills: that’s what Czechs claim, not me!

Hmmm..thats again a food for thought…err drink…Hic! Nora, I need another drink!