Drug. Sex. Insomnia.

Its well past midnight and I am doing some serious ‘burning midnight oil’ and it’s all about sex and drugs, err…drugs and sex. Well, this is no romantic escapades I am chronicling, if reading this far you envisaged some juicy anecdotes in the following paragraphs! Be warned, I am gonna talk about some real serious, real deep and really heart wrenching stories. And it involves me…yes, poor me!

I am happy that I finally got over that writer’s block I was suffering from and I am happy that I finally have a complete report right in front of me! Ah, I remember I did promise someone that I would share this piece of work I managed walking through all those spells of insomnias – well, it is now ready for public consumption! And I am really happy. Its rather not happy but a feeling which is so confidence boosting, a feeling which feels like as if someone is whispering sweet nothings into my ears! Well, it feels nice. That nice kinda nice :-)

Drug. Sex. Insomnia and a sleepy moi!

Some nights, working on my notes, I find myself sleeping on my belly with my face perched on the laptop keyboard. And then after couple of ‘turtle hours’ I wake up in the brightly lit bedroom to the tune of Sinatra. This could have been a scene of some nice, romantic, ‘sex-capades’, but alas it’s in my dreams, I dreamt of those tight embrace and those thick muscular arms!

Like a flower….

Picture this: Norah Jone’s husky voice filled the balmy air in the bedroom. It’s in closed door-window mode with dust storm outside– precautions for poor lungs which cant suck in thick air. Marquez’s orange yellow paperback lays upturned at page 17 and ‘remember me with a rose’ brushing on those tulip bed sheet, in the middle of a re-reading mode!

Oh, that orange yellow cover covered that famed cholera…err ‘Love in the time of Cholera’. Somewhere, that Medical Anthropologist and that Public Health Specialist and that traveller loses herself to a thing in the past on an unknown Spanish road, camouflaged as a Latina! Well, it had happened before; she had lost her ways to find her ways in life. And that was Barcelona. From Paella to Park Güell to Gaudi to Picasso and getting drenched in cava in those old Spanish pubs. Seven years since. Flashback moments and there was love. There was that husky voice, cat calls as you stop by the paid phone booth to make those phone calls to hear to that thick baritone from across the ocean. Yes, ocean! Hmm….flashback indeed!

Well, to come back to where it started from, yes, finally, suddenly, everything around feels so light, unburdened, as if there’s that lightness, a certain high from the first puff you suck in, as if there’s that slight buzz when you take a deep gulp after a nice swirl in your mouth, as if you just got kissed eyes all closed, all dreamy and light and as if a light feather just floated on the naked body.

The writing on ‘drugs and sex’ is complete and I am done with! and it all feels so dreamy yet real. Yes, drugs-sex and a bit of insomnia.. err …dreams :-)

Deep into the dark sky there are some stars smiling. Nice fragrant gardenias fill the air. A hint of sandalwood oil lingers on the nape and those saffron threads float on the water.

Surreal. Ecstatic. Blissful.

Spring Cleaning :-)

Spring cleaning!
Well, quite literally, actually I am in the middle of shifting to a new space both in personal as well as professional domain. You know, given my track record of travelling and moving with jobs, this should not make you any curious or jittery. Relax.

My office is relocating to a brand new seven storey building; I need to really pay attention to that email I received as I woke up on a Saturday morning. It’s the boss kinda telling in too many nice words to ‘get organised’. Though the email was sent to all who are currently housed in this beautiful ‘green building’ but I am sure many at work would know what this entails for me :-)

Well, moving to a new space which is not as spacious as your current work space can be a problem when you are dealing with a hoarder! C’mmon, I aint one, don’t you know how many projects I get to handle over this six years or so? And then I am very old world, I still like to do pen on paper and all my meetings with my students end up into documents which I keep referring until they complete their dissertation , even after that actually! So you get the scene, I keep accumulating stuff and quite like to keep them as I completely feel any tiny little interaction has the potential to inspire something and I am open to ideas all the time. You need to see my white board at work and how I scribble things on it and it’s a technique I have found which really helps me focus, helps me de-clutter and stay inspired.

Anyway, long story short, the mandate is ‘bring things which are useful to the new work space and leave the rest and they will dutifully find their way to the shredding machine’ .
Similar is the scene at home. There has been no email or no boss dictating or no new space on offer. Its just that regular spring cleaning – an extended one, you can say!

And what the hell of a cleaning it has been….huh!!

I remember reading a quote a few days ago and it went like this “you never know what you have until you clean your room”. This is so true, I have been staying put with my set of things (with intermittent additions from my many travels and some upgrade on the house etc)from pretty much the time I returned back to Delhi NCR in 2006 after staying in many different places for my work which almost started to have an annual pattern with a certain alphabet :-) I mean to cities starting with a certain alphabet! Anyway…

To continue with the de-clutter mode, I am trying to sort my books from travel documents, research papers from novels I read during traveling to some international conferences, painting and souvenirs from letters – hand written letters at that. And I am overwhelmed! First – so many people have been part of my life. Work colleagues, co-travellers, relatives (I have a very big family who don’t live in one place!), friends – so much memories and I am in no mood to abandon any of them. So what if I don’t travel back to see my old landlady in that beautiful summer house in Sweden but the joy that she thought of writing back to me years after I lived at her place is very endearing

. Notes, post cards, photos – and I am at loss how to organise everything. I have a dream to capture all of these, every experience of mine in a book. Yes, there I found this letter – a very lengthy, handwritten one, and someone very dearly telling me that I must do a travelogue as I write quite well. As they say, some things just don’t change and I am still nursing that dream!

I don’t know what was it that I started to write this blog this evening and now I am quite nostalgic, philosophic about life…err spring cleaning! But I guess, you got the point that there are so many people, so many things that shape you, that impact you and you only get enriched with each of these interactions, each of the trips you undertake, each of them….
Yes, sometimes in the passage of time some people or for that matter some memories are shuffled and sorted at a different layer which gets covered by the newer friends or newer priorities but they all remain there. It’s a different matter how you reminisce – I do with looking at old notes, old photos, books, letters etc.

I am glad that I met you all and I am happy that I remember you all and I have memories to cherish about you all :-) And wait, in addition to travel writing, I pretty much can even help guide/organize trips starting from the Great Wall of China to the Great Barrier Reef :-)

Tagore in the time of Love!

Had it happened to you ever that you are thinking about something and you see that happen in real life?

I am in that kinda phase, it is where I almost feel like a psychic – somewhere it feels cool but another way its rather scary and I feel confused, and depleted. My senses are so heightened that I can feel every kind of energy around me. I try to relate this phase with things happening around me but I don’t seem to put my finger on one thing! Its like those dimensions of multiple truths – yes, in reality things aren’t all that black-and-white, however much we would like to believe that way. Things are rather fuzzy, and it all depends how we like to make believe, how we like to see, how we like to find meaning to this whole existence called life! Well, pretty much its how you think!

I have been travelling quite a bit – mostly for work. I love to travel – I’m sure you can tell that by now! But sometimes these travels can get on to you as my area of work almost always makes me think deep, makes me philosophical, and I start to think through things. And then there are moments where I find peace, feel tranquil when I see happy faces despite all the miseries around us, when I see the spirit in people despite life threatening diseases that I feel humble, and feel content from within despite layers of turmoil splashing on me from all around.

So, I was reasoning it out about this unruffled state of being with my many travels that I miss my bed [read: sleep deprived] and the cosy environs of my own home. And that I have been out in the open absorbing so much energy from everything.

But then, being in one place does suffocate me. I am sure you will call me strange but I am dead honest and that’s probably why I love to travel as these trips keep me going, make me imbibe different things from different cultures, make me rationalize the ‘others’ , the ‘different’ and somewhere I feel centred, mature and wise.

Some places clearly attract me, some energy do soothe me, and I am naturally drawn to nature where I get to synthesise balance within me, get rid of the turmoil and get rejuvenated. I did have one such short trip and felt happy to be around family and friends.
I keep asking myself, whether I am trying to escape things, is it that I am afraid of facing something, is it that I can’t take risks and wait for the uncertain to unravel, is it that despite how I abhor people who settle for things regular, things commonplace, things stereotypical – I too am longing for ‘regular’ stuff to feel comfortable for this existence. Huh! confusion and more confusion, and I am happy not to have any answers as that offers me reasons to live, to strive and to wait. In the process, I only get the opportunity to grow, to mature, to be patient.

This is almost getting confessional here. I know, you will say- its like that all the time. Yes, I write the way I think and it liberates me. And this is my blog, so I have all the reasons to pour out how I think, what I think :-) And then, writing is cathartic and I see things getting unclogged and I see creative juices starting to flow - that feeling is very exhilarating. I feel happy, I feel joy, I feel alive and these help me to see through those confusion and I start walking :-)


And as I was talking of connections and feeling psychic – I got a book, a Tagore, last night and I read it before I slept. Call it a coincidence - it arrived all the way from Shantiniketan and it is a travelogue [Japan Yatri]. What more suitable of a gift it can be for a nomad, for someone who loves Tagore! And guess what, what did I chance upon? Travelogue opens with him discussing his needs to travel, why being in another place soothes him, make him feel creative. And for time and again he suffers from pangs to be with nature, to absorb nature and the need to feel centred. If you don’t believe me, get hold this Tagore vintage and read for yourself! Wait, I will help you read some of it at least…I am trying to attach a photo – these are Tagore’s letters to his friends, some are in English and some are in Bengali. Its interesting to read his works in Bengali as unlike common thinking a writer would be using complicated words and would make simple things complex – Tagore is a beauty in simplicity, I quite like this ‘school boy-ish’ expressions. Well, I know, you will say my command over Bengali isn’t great and that my 'Bangla' is rusted. But I find solace reading Tagore as he doesn’t mince words, he speaks the way I understand and I just feel he understands me so well :-) [that’s stretching things too far of course! Well, I am confessing my love for him unabashedly, and I don’t cringe!]

Oh, I realised this is gonna be the first post of 2014. So here’s wishing you all a very Happy New Year 2014. Hope this year brings all the joy, love and happiness in everyone’s lives and I surely hope to write many more posts this year and get a book published under my moniker. Amen!

Purple Haze or Purple Maze!?

It is cold out here and temperature drops by the minute in the evening and it goes as low as 4 degC. And I am all wrapped up in my favourite purple turtle neck. There’s something about this colour, I naturally lean towards this blue-lavender-purple color family. Huh! I know you will say ‘what about your pink clouds then’? Yes, pink – that particular shade of The North Face pink has become my favourite shade in addition to my ‘purples’ :-)

Well, I am stationed in Imphal in the far North Eastern terrain of Manipur this year end. Days are quite short with wintry haze and sundown by 4.30pm. We need to wind up by 4pm or so or else everyone in the room starts to shiver and look for those li’l ‘bucket’ like charcoal stoves to keep us warm.

When we talk about North East India it brings a different connotation – I wonder whether this is a good way to describe all the exotic terrains, people, and places under one umbrella? Well, I am no historian, I am no expert but my love of this place brings me over and over again, I do feel I have some psychic connection. I am happy to be here, happy to breathe mountain air,

happy to walk on those roads my dad and mom had walked, and happy to see faces I had grown familiar with. It always feels good to be here! Who knows, may be I had died here in my last birth? Huh, I am sounding like a psychic but there’s something about this place that always has drawn me – people, their smiling faces, friendship, trust, love, faith and everything…..I cant really put my finger on one thing!

I was born in the North Eastern state of Arunachal when my dad was posted for 12 long years looking after NEFA, in one of those back of beyond places with no hospital (I mean some 40 years ago). We lived in bamboo huts just like our ‘Apatani’ neighbors and I grew up like a wild child in the wild playing in those beautiful meadows and jumping on those rickety bamboo bridges over those gurgling mountain streams. The ‘tomboy’ in me still lives on and I feel blessed to have all these experiences in my life.

This time I am on a work trip to carry out some research on drug use and I am more like ‘woman with agenda’! As I go about meeting different researchers and discuss our research topics, familiar faces pop up and a part of me seeps into nostalgia. There are people in the team I had worked with before and there are people in the team I had travelled with into the far away lands of Mayanmar and beautiful locales of Manipur. There are people in the team who had seen me metamorphose into this researcher I am today. And sitting here in this nice room in my hotel, overlooking a beautiful cityscape through the morning haze this morning, I loose myself to nostalgia. I hold no judgement, I hold no comparison, yet a part of me constantly nudges me to think what if I had stayed on, what if my dad wasn’t transferred out of NEFA after those aerodromes were built and made functional. Well, life in North East cannot be imagined unless you have lived one for yourself.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I was interviewing for my research team, and here’s that dashing handsome guy I knew from 2006 before my eyes and I took time to recognise him as the ‘virus’ has made a mark on him. We both knew we were talking to the same people, as our voice are same – he recognised me, his eyes jumped as he recollected our time, our working together and there I just had to quit that interview panel. I could not continue.

It is a challenge to know the terrain so well, know the people so well. You connect as friends and then you also need to work with your friends as they are the ones who know your research subject so well. But back in my mind I was going through a different kind of battle, and I had to confess that I too have bias and in the work I do there is no room for bias. So I left the room and gave away the decision to choose the research team to others in the team.

I came back to another room and started reading so that my mind is at peace and to keep sane. So many layers of thoughts were crisscrossing and I was literally looking for a blotting paper to soak away all my overflowing thoughts! Well, I had to pour it out and here I am pouring it out this morning as I start another workday. I know this work fascinates me, I know there’s something that I want to do through my research work, and I know I have to continue. And I know this path will give me tears, joys, smiles, happiness and sadness. Yes, I know. And I will walk this walk!!

Its about Everything....

Everything by Alanis Morissette

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

A song for you....

Pink cloud indeed...

"The key to happiness is good health and short memory", so said Ingrid Bergman.

Hmm...I wish it could be that way for me too as I reminisce about an afternoon, those clouded, oh-so-very dreamy moments, when you don't need your eyes as if you are blinded, when it was just about the feelings - how you feel inside, how those touch feel, how those moments feel....hmmm...

It was as if you were on those pink clouds, literally, feeling an awesome high where head feels so light as if you could fly, when things happen like a dream and you wonder whether its magic or destiny.

And in that dark room, in that haze it felt so heavenly, it felt so dreamy, it felt so romantic. It was so strikingly different from its surrounding when sun was blazing and shining bright outside, without an iota of any cloud, without any hint of pink, where honking vehicles pass by and you wake up from your dream as you walk back home.

That was lovely, those whispers, those murmurs, those unopened eyes and yet there was a beautiful conversation, in all awareness, in all life and blood, in all its passion and love.

Have you ever fed a baby who is half asleep? Its that kinda feeling and I liked my 'pink cloud' moments with a baby half awake half asleep that afternoon.

In the roots of things....

This is gonna be my very last blog this year. 2009 has been a ‘great trip’ so far in so many ways in the journey of my life.

Its been a fulfilling year. Its been a memorable year. Its been a defining year. Its been a nice, beautiful year. And I wear a beautiful smile and my face looks nice....ummm....(more on this later)

I am happy as I sit next to an open suitcase, cameras peeping from within my old black backpack. I am just back from a fabulous vacation- a memorable trip from the land of my ancestors where I went tracing my roots. This was great in terms of my own identity, my Bengali roots. Bangladesh was a great experience.

This is gonna be a short blog as I had a very long ride back home, and I long for some massage. I wish to wake up to the New Year all fresh, feeling great and this requires a nice tight sleep.

I wish to wake up to the New Year looking forward to loads of travel, great time at work, friendship, and happiness. And my mind is full with Bhutan, snow, smiling faces, beautiful faces and a happPPy me.

BTW, life is a smooth ride if you have a great smile, have you ever thought so? I have a recent realization and I am in complete agreement with someone who once said “I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful”. And to be honest with myself I enjoyed every bit of attention I received in Bangladesh, be it in the music shop I went hunting for Bangladeshi pop music, be it from my fellow travellers in the jungles in the deep mangroves of Sunderbans , be it from people I met on the streets, in the villages, on the local buses, in the narrow lanes of old Dhaka, at the various eating places I visited, from friends and colleagues. I have come back home 'almost' feeling like a celebrity (I remember reading one particular sentence from the Lonely Planet's Bangladesh edition and that was so very true) with loads of admirers (hmm....thats for another time).

Wishing you all a great year ahead and I wish to write many more blogs in 2010, many more than 2009, inshallah!

Yahoo!

Yahoo.....Hmmm....there is a famous Bollywood song and I ‘almost’ am ready to sing that one! It goes like this: Hero appears on the screen all energetic, with ‘wild’ fervor dancing and sings (as it would read in English) “yahoo!....yahoo!...let people call me that I am from jungles....yahoo!..”

And I am here ‘yahoo-ing’ and feeling all ‘junglee’. I will explain in a bit....

Things are looking all gorgeous around me and I am all pepped up and in high spirits. This indeed is good news after a ‘flat’ spell (hmm...thinking about a graphical representation!). Year 2009 brought a lot of changes in my life. I changed track in terms of profession..umm...came to academics to teach public health in an Indian institute (btw, this is my first appointment with an Indian Organization in the capital). I have a new address now, living on my own in my own apartment and cooking food on my own in my kitchen (it feels pretty powerful, you know!). And after all these months in new settings, new neighborhood and new colleagues, I am kinda getting a good feeling.

Hmm....now I don’t really fret and fume because going to work means doing a mean 62 miles a day. How wonderfully I came to realize everything is possible and I ‘actually’ can do a lot of stuff, pretty much a lot more than I ever have envisaged myself ( this indeed is a big realization).

Things are falling in place. I am able to forge my position in the institute, in the classroom and more importantly in my own head that I can contribute well enough with what I know. Now I have a door to door commute available, making my ‘cross-country’ a smooth affair. And the icing on the cake: I am all set for a vacation. Finally! This is my very first (and last) vacation in 2009.

And there are reasons why I chose to hum that particular song....

I am all set to face the biggest cats (oops! second largest according to WWF) on the earth this winter. I will have a vacation in the jungles. And to set everything all-so-perfect, the whole thing is on a cruise and I am ready to sail! Yahoo!

With cruise booked, tickets nicely tucked in a beautiful folder, road map in hand and visa papers on my desk, I am a happy picture. And I am looking forward to December (now you know why also said this is gonna be the last one in 2009!)

I am all excited, and also emotional (read: very) for this vacation. This also means tracing my roots, going to a village by a river which is etched in my memory from a very delicate age. And it means a lot to my own identity, my own being and my own existence. And for some reasons year 2009 has been a very defining year in my life so far.

I am all glad, humbled. I am all excited, wild. I am feeling an itch under my feet. And those mustard seeds under my feet are in action again for me....yahoo!

N-counter

Hey there...it’s been quite some time already and I realized how soon its end of a month in this new year. Umm...true...time flies! And it really did.

But for some reasons I am having that 'time well spent' feeling about January. I was sharing my thoughts with my very good friend, who is crisscrossing the Vindhyas, the other day about how January has suddenly filled my life with so much of energy....Well, its way too much to handle actually!! First, I am sort of a hyper-energetic/ hyper-active type and then suddenly there are so much of activities around me...looks usual with a casual glance though...but the more you peer in and you realize...whoa....everyone around me is spinning with ideas and they all want 'me' to be there...Yikes!!

But I am not complaining...I am rather happy as I have never seen me so amazingly striking off my 'to-do' list every evening with such a lovely grin on my face...almost makes me feel like a big achiever everyday.

Well, I have not gotten much time to fill in my blog-sphere with bits-n-bytes as much of the time was spent on the roads, traveling for various things and not so much for road trips though. I was busy attending meetings, sitting for exams (don’t ask me!), standing in the queues, visiting my old college campus, meeting my old teachers, writing/editing a number of documents (amazing...how I finish just on time!), more meetings, shopping for gifts and flowers (there was an anniversary dinner at home!), partying, late-nights, fun times with old friends, meeting some cranky old men (read: professors...not mine...never had such ones teaching me in my life), listening to Obama (dude, I am in love!!), attending a family dinner at the US embassy (read: a big family!), meeting new friends and their friends, drinking coffee at 2am and hopping ...(nah! I am not saying anything here..), traffic jams, flexing plans with flexibility, going to gala events (can you believe: just returned from attending 'one-day' at Jaipur literature festival? Thanks to a very nice person and a writer and a poet!) and realizing how sometimes I forget to breathe in!!

Hmm....seriously...I really have to slow down...not to say stop and do nothing but I wish to give space between what I do and breathe in from time to time.

Ahh...and I was meaning to write about some encounters when I started to write this...but I completely got into another trajectory...well...that will happen in my next when I return from this cute little 'sexy' trip this weekend. I am starting tomorrow and I have not yet undone my travel bag from my last trip...urgh.....I almost can smell that stinking Levis…yikes!

HULA-cination!

Aloha!!
It’s been quite some time for me in this Aloha-land and I have been pretty busy catching up with my work and activities and not to mention, my side trips, and, ummm…I am tanning beautifully. But, the first thing first.

This is HULA for you. And here you go……
I am awestruck and I cannot write. Well, no writer’s block this time. I strongly feel writing about something so awesomely beautiful will take away its whole essence. So, it’s for your eyes and I will help you with that. No, I am not gonna dance for you, well…you never know!! Hmmm, coming to think of it, I really feel like staying back here, and I am not kidding. Well, you know where it is coming from....no prizes for guessing!! Mahalo!!

Sevilla Moments

I love food and I love to travel and I love to talk. And all these happened as I met my favorite boss at Sevilla over some very nice Mediterranean and Spanish dinner. And we had a very nice time.

First the meeting: I was meeting him exactly after a year and since we both had a real hectic time at work and home and we both had cribbed to each other about some extra pounds we had added since our last meeting. I was meeting him when he just recovered from a very nasty lung infection which most definitely kept him away from Tennis which is something he does not like to miss. Way back, when he had a ski accident and broke his knee, I remember him going to Tennis court and play some shots without moving much when he could barely walk (that did the damage to his recovery and he had to go for another surgery to rectify it). Well, the point is, nothing can keep him away from Tennis for long and when it happens then the only complain you hear from him is about his weight going north!!

So, I knew what to expect. I reached there before him and waited for him. And when he arrived, I was rather surprised. He is as stunning as before, charming, stylish and that same lithe frame. I was like, where are those extra pounds, man? Anyway, this man knows how to crib when he misses his Tennis or definitely knows how not to put on weight.

Now the setting: a nice big piano and the pianist belting out very romantic, soulful numbers and I was mischievously grinning thinking he must have mistaken us for a couple. Well, we did not have any way to tell him we were not and enjoyed those lilting music which could sneak in between our conversation. And it was soon at the background as we got engrossed in our discussion on life, or rather philosophies of life. Hmmm…..

Now the food: And he wanted to immediately order food before I get into that deep thinking-talking mode and delay the order as he was very hungry; had worked on his presentation and forgot to order lunch. Well, I don’t mind either..food and yummy food and I don’t complain. So, we went ahead with ordering food. There was this duck recipe in red wine sauce and some ‘paella’ with jumbo prawns, chorizo, squid, fishes and some more seafood. And it pleased our expectation. I am not a rice-person but for some reason ended up with that paella variation as other things on menu meant too much of food and I was not really so hungry. They served such huge portion that I needed help; my order was shared by him for me to decently finish the platter.

And finally the most crucial point, the reason why such a dinner meeting finds a place in my blog. Life is one big complication; we need to make it complicated to live it or else its not interesting and yet we say we want to live it simple. Do I make sense? Hmmm….

It has been a pattern so far with me. I have a real ‘hectic’ life and I still manage to crowd it with some other things and in the process I fail to prioritize things. I move on to newer things leaving behind half-finished older things. I try to look for fresher avenues, newer projects/assignments as if more is less. And in the process I spread thin and lose focus. I want to be good; good at everything. Or else it’s not satisfying. I would rather do it nicely or not do it at all; it sounds good at some level. But at more practical level is it wise to spread thin? Is it wise to move on to newer things when one has unfinished work (read PENDING job from old projects)? Or is this just a need to feel good with something which holds more hope than the one in hand? Well, he got me thinking and I want to think about it too.

Sevilla will remain in my mind for long. Not because of anything else but for that life-churning discussion, for those soothing words which never criticized but alerted a lost mind, for those reassuring eyes telling me that you are not alone and that everyone is doing their bit in walking the path of ‘one big complication called life’.

So, where are we heading from here? Hmmm…I only hope that I know.

P.S: I am still spreading thin again, diverting my creativity on this blogpost neglecting my presentation in hand. And its when you just told me how someone never works on her publications, but updates regularly on the blog. Well, I believe in being happy and live for the moment. So far, such ‘moments’ have given me big joys and I don’t complain even with a fewer publications and I still get hired and I still am known for what I do. But, I could do better. I know, you meant that. Thanks!

ri(N)gmarole.....1

Its about a ring, and not just any ring...its a Trinity ring. And there is a story...well...it will be told when the fingers start working.....What?

To be continued......

Slice of Life

Something happens when I see this particular shade of dark purple; this shade makes me happy, makes me nostalgic, makes me euphoric, makes me feel the joy from within. I am talking about that particular shade of purple, that Cadbury shade.

At some point of my life Cadbury was synonymous with chocolates before so many other names and colors started to crowd that corner of my refrigerator. Yet, my love for purple..err Cadbury's has not died; I still jump with joy like a child when someone gets me one.

And the other day I was so very happy to find this old advertisement which is off the air now; and I relived those nostalgia and the joyous child in me matched her steps with the girl in the ad.

Such moments are truly a slice of life worth living....umm, I am loving it...the chocolate, I mean!

Condemn Condom

Damn it! Urghh..not again...

I had a very busy week and started another after a fun-filled weekend with..well..less said the better. Ummm, we had a ball..(oops!) at the conference (a lot praises are still pouring in) and after the conference and we heard a lot of stories from everybody. But I am still so very much excited about this one that I thought of sharing it on the blog..(oops, I have not even changed my clothes after the conference..too much of info..err I mean I came straight and logged into my blogspot to draft the story!) and share with you all at one shot...huh!

And now the story: its about my colleague Melissa and her tryst with condom(S) and what fun...ha ha ha. Maybe, you can read it yourself! And know there is someone called 'condom girl'!!

Oops, I did it again..ha ha ha! Melissa, I still cant stop giggling...ha ha ha! What next? caught red handed with samples of female-condom?

I say, "not again"!

Resonance

“As we pass through the numerous crossroads of life we come

across many who accompany us in this journey of myriad

experiences. Underlying this is a resonance, a chord

which strikes between two people.” Anuranan, Circa 2007

It was a letter, a hand written one with a portrait- a la-Titanic style. And he was trying to make sense taking examples from life’s jigsaw puzzle. Like with a piece in jigsaw many other pieces can be tried but there is just one unique combination that makes it perfect. And before that perfect picture is obtained many combinations can be tried and these are worthwhile. These makes the ‘piece’ more experienced. And there he tells 'her' that not every relation has to have a name.

Such is life. When memories turn olden they become meaningful.

It was when he was zipping through those mustard fields driving that Merc, 'she' was transported to a different place with 'her' eyes glued on the 70mm. Memories of mustard fields from the land of Vikings came alive. But 'she' did wake up at the sight of Big Ben and did realize that was London and he was zipping through the lovely country side of London.

Eto anuranon kano? 'She' asks herself.

The father comes looking for his daughter as she has just moved to the city after staying away for so long and he looks for her and her husband. And he calls for him. 'She' was surprised as that reminded her of a name.

Eto anuranan kano? 'She' asks herself.

While still in front of the 70mm 'her' mind was taking wandering trail through different timezones, different landscapes, different space and time and 'she' did find herself asking:


"Koto anuranan, koto spondon
Koto jigyasha, koto bhalobasha
Somoy egiye jaye, jibon kete jaaye
S(m)riti aar bis(m)riti hoye jaaye ekakar
Ei jibon e koto anuronon, koto spondon" (copyright-Solna)

Fijian Delight

Its so beautiful, so awesomely beautiful. It has to be seen to be believed. He told her. And she nodded in agreement.

Golden Moments

Its a lovely wintry evening and she is heading for some cozy time. It was a busy day and she has been criss crossing the town from the early morning. And something cropped up in her mind and she remembered.....

And the very next moment she finds herself infront of a florist's shop busy selecting flowers...err red roses for a bouquet she wants to make.

A bouquet of red roses: a bouquet which is so precious, an emotional statement, a symbol signifying deep love. She goes around the shop and picks up the best of the bunch. And she instructs the florist as he gathers all the sticks for a nice bouquet.

She gets the bouquet and she heads straight for the occassion.

Its late in the night and she is still up. She is happy and she is wearing that enchanting smile. O'lala a...and after a hearty meal she goes to bed happily admiring the everlasting bond playing with her unruly locks which is shining with some silver lining...and she hums the 'everlasting....

On her bed, in her cozy room she is admiring the love, the bond the old couple has been sharing for so long. A life full of togetherness in all the twists and turns life has taken. She is mersmerized in her thoughts as she admires the old couple she shares her life and soul with. The same couple who brought her on this earth.

Bon Anniversaire!! Love you for everything my old couple...

Saying Goodbye!

Just the other day I was discussing ‘this’ when I and a friend (the most down to earth guy I know for all his successes) decided to catch a movie to treat our eyes after treating ourselves leisurely over a lunch and some Australian wine.

That was a luxury for me. First I was at home all by myself and not traveling. And then it was a Sunday, a nice wintry December Sunday afternoon. And then the movie was a true blue bollywood blockbuster and a chartbuster of the season.

While we were casually chatting about the directorial lapses, and exchanging some such critical bytes after the movie we did touch upon the changing cityscape. How this city is transforming day by day which is almost like desperately going under plastic surgeon’s knives. And how multiplexes are becoming a big time favorite with the common people and the businessmen and the people in power alike. And how old cinema halls are standing like a sore point in this oh-so perfect hairline…err…cityscape.

As if someone heard us talking about it and lo and behold…almost in a few days I read an announcement with a heavy heart that this much loved movie hall, a classy address would soon go under the bulldozers to make one of those huge malls with multiplexes. One of those places where you don’t have to plan for a movie as one of those would anyway be showing what you want to watch just when one is in the mood. These days multiplexes are giving such options that planning for a movie sounds oh-so old-fashioned! Life is becoming oh-so convenient!

Chanakya theatre would not be there in future. The name which is synonymous with movie outings from childhood. It also meant good momos any time of the year. And it meant a convenient landmark where people from different parts of the city could gather when we plan re-unions and catch a movie over some yummy kebabs and entertaining bytes from friends. A lot of nostalgia of those idyllic moments spent would be bulldozed along with the movie hall.

For me at this point, it’s an end of a nice hang-out spot. And its end of a year as well which brought much changes and new beginnings. Hope Chanakya also gets a new beginning in future.

And I thank my friend for mentioning about a movie that Sunday while I was happily sipping that exotic variant from Oz or else I would have missed an opportunity to catch a movie at Chanakya one last time. Do I really have enough time to catch another before it shuts down for ever, may be Will Smith’s latest…err I am legend, what do you think?

November Quotes

Its December already! And I have to go on a vacation.

One more year is going to pass. And for some reasons December has always been associated with parties, get-togethers for me, not only because of usual Christmas-New Year eve fest-ing and feasting but also because of my tenures in different places had mostly ended in December. But this year I have seen more number of farewells in November; farewells of my colleagues from various offices across the globe. And that was quite a number.

And I am a sucker of good time, good food and good words.

I flaunted some of my beautiful dresses and got compliments (they are actually for my designer friend).I ate some nice food, got to know some recipes and gained some flab. I drank some bubbly and felt nice. I listened to those speeches and I saved two quotes for my blog post.

The first one is what Confucius once heard saying "Our greatest glory consists not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" .

And the second is an Irish saying "May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be at your back, may the sun shine warmly on your face, the rain fall gently on your fields and may a kind and just God hold you in the palm of his hand until we meet again".

May you all have a nice time in the forthcoming festive season as I plan to go on a vacation.

And I am done with this one for the moment; need to catch some sleep after painting the town red…..oops, in my red dress.

Oops, I am still short of one blog from hitting a half-century..whats happening in the gardens of Eden?