Umm…I would not have even attempted to write something on this line if today for the n-th time I had not heard this. I guess it made up to the level to ‘inspire’ me for a blog post instead of writing what my super cute boss has been insisting on for a few days now (just two days to be precise, I will finish that the first thing after this one, promise!).
Well, the question was: “where is ‘sir’ (it was not ‘sir’ but a variation of sorts in Hindi)? Ohh, he must be at work” Whoa?
To tell you the whole thing I have to mince a few more words. So, allow me.
I am on my own. And off late, I am REALLY on my own (Read: started to stay in the flat I had bought earlier this year). This requires me to commission works when I want to fix some particular furniture or an appliance the way I want. Which further means I need to meet/talk with carpenters, electricians, plumbers, painters, etc etc and bring them home and tell them their job and supervise. Quite a process.
I am a perfectionist when it comes to a job and I can be really ‘bossy’ in my just five feet (or even less than that) stature and a nice façade (Read: face).
In India (especially) it is normal for people to be overtly curious. I have been courting volleys..err queries around who all are the occupants in my flat. I guess it’s because these workers around here do not think a female can be a sole occupant when I ONLY bring them home and I am the ONLY person they see in the place. And then it’s a full fledged house, so they are ‘entitled’ to think its housing a family and not just ‘only the female’ they meet.
And depending upon how blunt the question my repertoire varies between being sharp and rude to being snappy and snubbing. I have heard them all and tackled them with an effortless ‘dodging’ of a footballer in a way “dude, just tell me whether it functions properly or not; it’s immaterial whether for 10 people or one. And don’t ask me how many people will drink water from this water purifier in a day?”
Ummm…that was easy.
Then came a smart one from this electrician (who apparently knows my family, my dad and all): “who all will be staying here? Are you all shifting here?”
Well, the question was: “where is ‘sir’ (it was not ‘sir’ but a variation of sorts in Hindi)? Ohh, he must be at work” Whoa?
To tell you the whole thing I have to mince a few more words. So, allow me.
I am on my own. And off late, I am REALLY on my own (Read: started to stay in the flat I had bought earlier this year). This requires me to commission works when I want to fix some particular furniture or an appliance the way I want. Which further means I need to meet/talk with carpenters, electricians, plumbers, painters, etc etc and bring them home and tell them their job and supervise. Quite a process.
I am a perfectionist when it comes to a job and I can be really ‘bossy’ in my just five feet (or even less than that) stature and a nice façade (Read: face).
In India (especially) it is normal for people to be overtly curious. I have been courting volleys..err queries around who all are the occupants in my flat. I guess it’s because these workers around here do not think a female can be a sole occupant when I ONLY bring them home and I am the ONLY person they see in the place. And then it’s a full fledged house, so they are ‘entitled’ to think its housing a family and not just ‘only the female’ they meet.
And depending upon how blunt the question my repertoire varies between being sharp and rude to being snappy and snubbing. I have heard them all and tackled them with an effortless ‘dodging’ of a footballer in a way “dude, just tell me whether it functions properly or not; it’s immaterial whether for 10 people or one. And don’t ask me how many people will drink water from this water purifier in a day?”
Ummm…that was easy.
Then came a smart one from this electrician (who apparently knows my family, my dad and all): “who all will be staying here? Are you all shifting here?”
Umm…I had no clear answer. Because, I don’t want to give him any info. So I very nicely swallowed the question, yikes!
He’s a very curious sort, so he did not stop at that: "you are not married, right? Is this ok for you to stay here all alone?"
Urghhh…I least expected this one. So it was a shocker of sorts. But he has a point; he wants your info, that’s his birth-right. When you don’t even look married (well, here in India women sport certain symbols when they are taken…well, I mean married) why on earth you chose to live separately (he has been working for us for five past years or so, so has the right to talk like my granny!) I murmured something and I felt really angry while answering, so I preferred not to repeat it clearly in more audible voice (dont want to spoil a relationship; I very timely remembered advice of my so-very-good-at-man-management brother) and started to call some numbers while toying with my mobile. I later heard from dad that the electrician had paid him a visit and showed concerns around my new flat and that he (my dad) had not made a right decision.
Many more such comments followed and forgotten (as they did not ‘affect’ me so much) and I was just getting more used to the ‘game’; becoming a veteran of sorts.
Then it was the turn of my ‘I-don’t-know-what-to-say’ neighbor. He meets my brother during his weekend visits and very happily he goes on blabbering: “good that you started to stay here, it was lying vacant for so many months. So, it’s you and your wife?” Wow!! what imagination, I say, really creative imagination!!
It’s hard to engage my brother in a conversation in the middle of a staircase and when his smile can make you forget what your next sentence was. So, that was it.
And this one is so typical: watch this. This neighbor always watches me in the place, day in and day out and not my brother but he only chooses to ask questions to him. Such “gender sensitive” some people are! Anyway, my brother and him have become very goody-goody-hi-hello pals ever since.
But coming back to what made me start it all: I am revamping the look (not mine) of my flat and planned some more work and hence engaged a few more workers. I needed to go to their workshop and place an order and they needed to come and fix it after a week. They came (I brought them as they never came to this part of town or village?).
They entered, and looked in, and kept on looking as if they wanted someone to come out of the corridor, or the bathroom or whatever nook and corner not visible from the entrance. Well, what’s the matter?
Where is ‘sir’? I was like: windows are here, why do you need ‘sir’ in the house? I kept silent, I did not know how to react. Thank heavens, he incorporated his own answers: "Ohh, he must be at work.."
Many more such comments followed and forgotten (as they did not ‘affect’ me so much) and I was just getting more used to the ‘game’; becoming a veteran of sorts.
Then it was the turn of my ‘I-don’t-know-what-to-say’ neighbor. He meets my brother during his weekend visits and very happily he goes on blabbering: “good that you started to stay here, it was lying vacant for so many months. So, it’s you and your wife?” Wow!! what imagination, I say, really creative imagination!!
It’s hard to engage my brother in a conversation in the middle of a staircase and when his smile can make you forget what your next sentence was. So, that was it.
And this one is so typical: watch this. This neighbor always watches me in the place, day in and day out and not my brother but he only chooses to ask questions to him. Such “gender sensitive” some people are! Anyway, my brother and him have become very goody-goody-hi-hello pals ever since.
But coming back to what made me start it all: I am revamping the look (not mine) of my flat and planned some more work and hence engaged a few more workers. I needed to go to their workshop and place an order and they needed to come and fix it after a week. They came (I brought them as they never came to this part of town or village?).
They entered, and looked in, and kept on looking as if they wanted someone to come out of the corridor, or the bathroom or whatever nook and corner not visible from the entrance. Well, what’s the matter?
Where is ‘sir’? I was like: windows are here, why do you need ‘sir’ in the house? I kept silent, I did not know how to react. Thank heavens, he incorporated his own answers: "Ohh, he must be at work.."
Umm…what?? I am paying you for what you are planning to fix on my windows and then I gave you correct measurements. I even got this helpful doorman remain standby in case he needs a hand. Now, why you need a ‘sir’ to appear from nowhere?
Anyway, here I am waiting for ‘sir’ to appear from nowhere to come home after his work. And then I have a ‘weekend-husband’ visiting me with such sexy smile (now I know from where my ‘I-don’t-know-what-to-say’ neighbor got so imaginative).
Now you know how it feels in my new place, on my own with ‘husband’ and ‘sir’ trooping in from all over. And I say: I don’t really know what to say. I am sort of speechless.
Anyway, here I am waiting for ‘sir’ to appear from nowhere to come home after his work. And then I have a ‘weekend-husband’ visiting me with such sexy smile (now I know from where my ‘I-don’t-know-what-to-say’ neighbor got so imaginative).
Now you know how it feels in my new place, on my own with ‘husband’ and ‘sir’ trooping in from all over. And I say: I don’t really know what to say. I am sort of speechless.
Umm….that’s something new..err news of sorts.
What’s say?
1 comment:
hi solna
a wonderful post..my hectic and desultory days resulted in me missing reading your posts..cant say i can empathise with the single woman in india situation but can understand how diffuclt it can get...
keep writing
suds
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