Life from the side lines….

Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, it turned into a butterfly. ~Proverb

Watching life from the side lines sometimes can be such a worthwhile experience. I am in such a phase right now – much of the reason is that I do not want to be part of this race to know whether I can really run or to prove it to anyone and on another level, I am in a different mode where I observe and not ‘do’ stuff. You may say something different but that doesn’t bother me. We all have our own opinions and view points and I do what I want to do and think the way I want to think and I totally have my reasons.

I have seen life – inside-out, pretty deep I must say. I have lived in different places with different people, travelled, seen the world, made friends, climbed mountains, and went deep into the ocean, had seen successes and failures, lost and found, tasted the highs and fallen deep and deeply in love, laughed and cried and nonetheless, made a happy connection with life and a meaningful one at that! And of course, I lived a life to die without any regrets. I know, I can do better and that’s always the case, I want to do much more than what I do, with a wish to better my best. And perhaps that’s the reason I am always in this continuous anxiety, constant restlessness and don’t find reasons to feel satisfied. Yes, I haven’t achieved what I set out to achieve in this life 

And then, I slowed down, to observe and to ponder and prolly, to reinvent and see through things. I must say – this is exhilarating. I know I am different. I know that. And you told me too many times. But now I celebrate that differentness and don’t try to conform or please anyone. It is what it is, take it or leave it and I do no harm, I do not mean any harm. I have grown this way to be me, I have been brought up this way to be me and not to alter my wiring and be what you want me to be. I know I am a woman in a man’s world. I know I am one tough nut and you get jitters to face me. I know I am a delicate one and I wear this tough shield for the world outside. I know I am a difficult one you love to dump in one corner.

But what the hell, how does that matter? You play your game and I play mine. But the scene is, I see through your game and you cant win me over. Because, for a long long time, I have stopped accepting your definitions, your standards, your ideals, your perspectives. Because, with the life I have, the experiences I have gone through, I have to respect my own perspectives, I have to acknowledge my thinking, accept my true feelings. And it is totally perfect to be different. It’s awesome to be difficult. It’s joyous to be ‘me’. Yes, I know I am going there where I belong. I am wee bit too late or too early but things are falling in place and before you even know your view points, your standards, your ideals will be so obsolete and I could care less what you thought about me. But you know, however difficult you made it for me, actually this journey helped me see things differently and helped me to mould me. So I say ‘thanks nonetheless! ‘ wearing that nice smile which I know you cant handle! [hehe]

Oh, have you read this one Oscar Wilde wrote once? that “what seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.” It makes so much sense to me from where I am now :-)


Addendum [3 July 2014]: just needed to clarify as many of the readers are intrigued about who is this 'you' I have referred in this post. I am an Indian, based out of India and this 'you' refers to the stereotype society, people, situation create for a woman. This 'you' is no individual but a group. Thanks, Solna.

I am the "Hallucination"!

In the dim light, under the moonlight, between all those hushed voice there was some warmth spreading between the two of us as we slowly warmed up with each other in our embrace, in our naked ness. Well, we were together in friendly, yet passionate cuddle and there was some kinda natural bent to it – no, it wasn’t as if we were trying hard, it was smooth, it flowed well. It was rather uncanny. It was rather unreal. But maybe that’s how adults try to know each other. May be that’s how it get started. May be it was none of that. As he often says ‘there is no…..’ ! Well, point taken!

For her it’s like a dream. It’s truly a dream and she kept pinching and pinched hard. For her it was real and she is quite stirred by the incident, something like a whirlwind. Indeed, he is like a whirlwind - he is real, he is big and he is there in front of you and he is all yours in kisses and tears, in sweet murmurs and then the next moment, he is that icon people look up to, he is in public domain and he is gone away from you! And you stay surprised by that whirlwind of a person who is a master in taming whirlwind in real life!

“he will be tall, very tall, well-built and he won’t be from your profession. And when you meet him, you will know for yourself”

Ah! as if I am recounting à la "Ketut" that Balinese medicine man in ‘Eat-Pray-Love’. It’s lovely to think that way, if pretty woman like Julia Roberts had to go through it, I am quite a game! Well, life isn’t a movie….but, wait, isn’t that life actually inspire those movies? Hmmm…..

But as humans, we all live in our own world of make-believe. I am one dreamer and I like to dream and I believe dreams do come true. Well, that’s about how I am….

He is one nice, down to earth person which is incredible despite all the adulation he is showered every day. He is indeed an epitome of success – if at all he approves that word. He is an achiever we would like to read about and listen to and narrate to our grandchildren. He is full of grey matter and quite charming at that – and these qualities he is very aware about himself.

She indeed was surprised and could not believe her eyes/ears when she met him. She is one hell of an independent woman, living by herself, setting her own standard in work and life, in her own little way. She is happy to see what life has brought to her, she is surprised to see how difficult it is to be a woman in this man’s world, when her chips are down and things are downhill she likes to think all this liberal ideas and feminism are bullshit and lucky are those women who stay at home and remain under their men’s shadow, she quarrels about hypocritical ways of society with her parents who encouraged her to be what she is today – an alpha fe-male! (of sorts)

He is honest and admits he is rude and arrogant when you stop by to tell him that. He walks like the boy next door in your neighborhood and doesn’t throw any tantrum when you don’t usher him in. He doesn’t have the need to bask in glory all the time, she thinks. He is prolly bored of all the awards and all the pep-talk he does far and wide – she conjures. He does not show any displeasure when she panics and she watches him walk into the twilight - she is lovelorn, but he is miffed and she is heartbroken.

She has a tiny little woman in her, and she realizes her womanly desires, her womanly charm and that façade of hers which she often hides. Though she enjoys that side of her and she knows how vulnerable she feels when that façade tries to peep out, as if she loses control. She did lose control and panicked. Hmm….

Well, we all are many layers deep and despite our layers and colors there is a basic tint that you portray and that’s what impacts the other. She likes simple things in life as it is easy to sustain, easy to hold on to. She loves little tears of joy and those weak vulnerable moments even though her mind must be racing to argue that colleague who questioned her research methodology. She wears a strong façade and underneath there is a soft innocent core to be loved, cuddled and fondled.

In their many layers, they will know each other and there will be a world of their own ‘make-believe’ which they will create. A world complex yet simple, rosy yet dark, hard yet soft and in the game of long and short they will find joy and laughter.

Yes, dreams they are and dreams do come true!! And you will know when you see it! And it is real and ‘there is no’ Hallucination! And there was moonlight and it was a full moon that night!

Need some clean air....

Breathe easy, who wants to get stressed? Not me at the least. But I invariably get to get it. And it happened so very recently. Because I got manipulated, I was used and most importantly I was a bloody fool myself. lol.

Well, why blame another, look at yourself and find how important it is to know and see your own actions, decisions, and everything else. It’s a good thing that you got to see another’s true color, that’s a bonus. But what’s the guarantee that you won’t falter again?

Well, it’s a big challenge of sorts to ‘come prepared’ every time you plan to meet people socially. For some reasons I cannot do that as I am quite an antithesis of being ‘come prepared’. Well, I am organized, like to plan my life but when it comes to interaction or conversation I never follow any ‘guidebook’. Call it a good thing or a bad thing, I believe in being natural and can never wear a manipulative hat. But so many people shamelessly wear one and when caught red-handed they stage-manage with a plastic grin as if nothing happened. Well, nothing happened actually, for them.

But for me, it’s being unfaithful, disrespectful and not at all cool. I will continue to think this way even when you score a trillion and flash those painted lips. Because for me being simple/being upfront/being honest/being confident is the way of life. Thank heavens I don’t need to manipulate people.

I will be myself, but I will be careful the next time around. I promise, I will not again let anyone manipulate me….huh.. That’s a tall order!

Counter that..

I am in the middle of finding out where Mamit is located and I had this thought about updating my BlogSpot. Oops, such a thought; especially when it means sitting in glass cabinets and stealing time from work. But I am just being creative and I have nothing pending on my desk and I am all set for a trip to far North East on work!

I remember updating my Face Book status to 'suddenly she is on a high' a few days ago and which is true. I am most certainly on a high, not high on alcohol as you may think. But this is kinda feeling high and relishing it (I almost had a serious tête-à-tête with one of my friends whether this is any symptomatic variation of mood swings/bipolar or other such disorders). I was not worried but I am getting conscious with comments from friends and alike. I call it 'my high energy phase'. But I like this active, lively, miss-sunshine state of mine. This state identifies my being to the 'T'. Hmmm, I wonder as if I suddenly discovered me…voila!

So, you know I am on a high. And it shows- be it with friends after a tiring (call it boring) day at work for an impromptu tea at our favorite cha-bar, be it about marking an attendance at a film festival sans anyone (I remember one comment 'you went alone?'), be it with travel plans (I have been rather prolific all these weekends, traveling non-stop for short weekend trips and making quite a list), house work (I am still revamping…oops, its never ending or may be I am fussy that I always feel 'that picture frame isn't great, lets change the color of the wall..etc etc') and ultimately I hear my wise (and very nice and great looking) brother say 'you really have energy for all these!' with loads of appreciation mixed with awe in his tone. Hmm, I love praises and especially the genuine ones.

I was meaning to write about some N-counters for quite some time. And before I deviate to another idea I must document these very thought provoking and life changing philosophies of life. I have been specially saving them since December last and still haven't managed to document them.

N-counter #1: I am standing in a line at a bank counter and I am at my most irritated state. I like plastic transactions, any day! And counting currencies are not for me. I would hate it if I have to carry them with me and then deposit them and then find a long queue waiting to greet me at the bank! Hmm, so you know what irritated me that day. And when ultimately my line started to move I found one gentleman stealthily positioning himself near the counter such that he can bypass the line. It made me mad. First, I started to murmur and then in more audible sound protested; this made my predecessor in the line direct his grievances to the gentleman in question. The gentleman turned and said 'no line for senior citizen'. Oops, I almost looked for a cover. Then after his turn he stopped to do some thing at the counter and by that time my turn came. We looked at each other, face to face, eye to eye. And then he smiled and said 'I just came in to deposit what all I saved from this month's expenses'. I was rather taken aback at his simplicity. I came back home remembering those words, especially when we are not having sunny days financially. This little savings and the whole idea of not expanding our needs are so important to realize.

This remained with me for quite sometime and I still remember the golden words, the thought behind it.

Hmm. This is all for this post. I hope I could describe well this time and especially for someone who started to read my blog recently with a hope he will not crib about its 'tantalizingly incomplete' description.

And I will be back with more on N-counters. Promise!

One more year and another…

I am at half century… Umm…I managed to score a 50. Well, I am talking about number of posts this year. One post per week on an average if you want more analysis… (he he).

Its kinda year end stock taking! Its stats, my dear, hard facts and numbers…

Not bad, I murmur…given all the nomadic existence err experiences, mood swings... (Umm, actually these are rather high-yielding times, so discount that!), other time consuming activities (read: my apartment and things associated with that) erratic behavior (read: last minute plans for movies, parties and meeting with friends on a short notice and such things). Well, no bragging, but honestly I am happy at my regular relationship with this blogspot.

This year made a mark for many reasons, for good reasons and bad.

For my little world 2008 would be a milestone, as I bought myself an apartment which I call my home. I am also happy for my trips to 25 cities and three countries this year despite not-so-good economic situation. I am happy to meet some of my old friends when they visited me. I am thankful to all who hosted me in different places this year for making my time memorable and safe. I am very happy as Mr. Obama could head for the US President’s chair on 20 January (I really am a BIG admirer of Obama!)

2008 was also a damper of sorts for global and local economy, many would not want to remember 2008 and would avoid its mention in case it re-visits (such superstitions!). Terrorism (read: cross border terrorism) was at its height in India and five major cities were attacked in 2008 causing loss of lives, property and not to mention peace. It was really B-A-D, they had a B.A.D plan to hit Bangalore-Ahmedabad-Delhi but they also went beyond their plan and added Jaipur (looks like they pre-tested their method here?) and Mumbai. Mumbai incident saw the largest casualty and maximum involvement of forces (Army, anti-terrorist squad, Mumbai police, Maharashtra police and not to mention the commandos from special security forces). And this one led to massive nation-wide awareness campaigns which has brought people of India together to fight against terrorism and made all of us stand in unity with a hope for a peaceful and democratic system tomorrow. Let’s hope for a better time in 2009.

And this one will be the last one in 2008’s slot.

I decided to punch in this one today with advance new year wishes looking at my schedule on 31st December when I will be hopping from one airport to another, talking about statistics, preparing for e.ee…egg-(and)–jams…ha ha ha exams (or taking one, not sure, lets see) and juggle in some ‘friendly’ meetings (no partying, no plans so far). I surely have a busy day-and-night tomorrow. I will tell you how I fare. So, see you next year then :)

So, here’s wishing all of you a very happy, peaceful, prosperous, fulfilling NEW YEAR. Happy New Year folks!!

Now I really want some nice food and some……do I need to tell you that also?

Why Lie?

It was strange, I will say very strange.

I was in a meeting with someone who is not a stranger and yet not a celebrity but so much is known about him (may be he did not know that). And during the course of interaction I did ask him not-so-important questions which he very promptly answered. I repeated the answers since I had heard before (and known) something completely different so that he gets a chance to correct himself. Yet he repeated the same response. Hmmm, I wondered and stopped still looking eye-to-eye with him. I did see a slight hint of discomfort. Well....

I wonder why people lie about little things in life, when so much more is already known about them (thanks to websites, authentic ones at that) and especially when its about mundane things as trivial as which school one attended and from which University/city one graduated. I cannot understand what makes people cringe and not say the name of the university if its a small town? Why people are so insecure and hierarchical? I would like to think one needs to stand by these little facts of their lives, or else one will always run for cover under a Gucci dress or an Armani suit to feel great. Life is about being honest. Life is about acknowledging who we are; where we came from. Its our habit of hiding such trivial facts makes these issues so-very important to us, have you ever wondered that? Its we who first value-judge a thing before others do.

Sir, just so you know its an utter shame for a person like you to suffer from such insecurities as after doing so well and achieved what all you have so far you should have felt proud to mention your alma mater and the city you came from. Or else you should not have mentioned them in your bio or better even went to another school and re-done your degree.

Well, at the end of the day, you are a liar for me even if you stand tall among people but you score quite low on my list.

Me(N)merizing…

I wonder what make men meet another woman….

I have no problem with friendships with men, with their chivalrous gestures. But I am talking about special attentions from men which are uncalled for, do you get it?

I am talking about those thin lines between mischievous and flirtatious pokes and those disgusting, very suggestive activities. I am talking about when much married men try their hands on other women. And I ask what make these men take interest in another woman? Hmmm…really a good question when we see number of application for separation and divorce is going north in geometric proportion, and we hear stories of bad marriages and ‘caught him red handed’ tales from our female friends and colleagues.

Sometimes, I think twice before I plan to attend a get together at my married friend’s place. Well, I take care, you know. I have seen myself. I have experienced myself how my very confident female friend found herself in a not-so-great situation and how she did not feel confident about it. And I didn’t feel great about it either; not comfortable in such company when my idea of attending such functions or get-together is spoiled.

I do not go to these get-together with an intention to score a point over any of my married female friends with their husbands wearing lecherous hats. I am chirpy, friendly, extrovert, I have confidence to strike up a conversation in a gathering, and I have self respect. And I do look good sans cellulite! These definitely make me look attractive on any day of solar calendar! And most importantly, I really DO believe these are not reasons for a man to stray and forget his vows he had once pronounced when he took that holy bow.

Well friends, it’s disgusting. I hope my friends read this and know how I feel about all these. And why sometimes I am so choosy about who all are coming to a party, you know?

Hmmm…. Give me a break from double standards, lecherous men, ‘good-husband-trying-on-their-wife’s-friends’. Just know that I have friends (both male and female) who can give me good company, respect and great time. And another thing, I like my company to a hilt, so, you don’t have to worry even if I am single and looking. It is to say I am not looking at you. So, stay away and let me walk my way. Got me?

Taken for ransom?

Its a pity how terrorism is taking our lives for ransom. I would like to wish that we all come together and fight this menace. We need to tell 'them' that this has to stop. We need to strengthen our combat system against terrorism along with more public awareness and vigilance. We, as citizens just cant turn back and have that 'business as usual' attitude.

We need to learn from the past. Delhi rocked with serial bomb blasts two months ago and now innocent people are held hostages in hotels in Mumbai. Do we need more examples to learn and fight these?

And if you look into the coverage of Mumbai episode its like war, army is in, special forces are in to comb them out of hotels? Why did we wait to make 'them' so strong? Our lives are not for ransom; we just cannot put more lives on the firing line for 'these' terrorists. Our men in uniform and citizen don't deserve these. Any thought on that?

Where is SIR?

Umm…I would not have even attempted to write something on this line if today for the n-th time I had not heard this. I guess it made up to the level to ‘inspire’ me for a blog post instead of writing what my super cute boss has been insisting on for a few days now (just two days to be precise, I will finish that the first thing after this one, promise!).

Well, the question was: “where is ‘sir’ (it was not ‘sir’ but a variation of sorts in Hindi)? Ohh, he must be at work” Whoa?

To tell you the whole thing I have to mince a few more words. So, allow me.

I am on my own. And off late, I am REALLY on my own (Read: started to stay in the flat I had bought earlier this year). This requires me to commission works when I want to fix some particular furniture or an appliance the way I want. Which further means I need to meet/talk with carpenters, electricians, plumbers, painters, etc etc and bring them home and tell them their job and supervise. Quite a process.

I am a perfectionist when it comes to a job and I can be really ‘bossy’ in my just five feet (or even less than that) stature and a nice façade (Read: face).

In India (especially) it is normal for people to be overtly curious. I have been courting volleys..err queries around who all are the occupants in my flat. I guess it’s because these workers around here do not think a female can be a sole occupant when I ONLY bring them home and I am the ONLY person they see in the place. And then it’s a full fledged house, so they are ‘entitled’ to think its housing a family and not just ‘only the female’ they meet.

And depending upon how blunt the question my repertoire varies between being sharp and rude to being snappy and snubbing. I have heard them all and tackled them with an effortless ‘dodging’ of a footballer in a way “dude, just tell me whether it functions properly or not; it’s immaterial whether for 10 people or one. And don’t ask me how many people will drink water from this water purifier in a day?”

Ummm…that was easy.

Then came a smart one from this electrician (who apparently knows my family, my dad and all): “who all will be staying here? Are you all shifting here?”

Umm…I had no clear answer. Because, I don’t want to give him any info. So I very nicely swallowed the question, yikes!

He’s a very curious sort, so he did not stop at that: "you are not married, right? Is this ok for you to stay here all alone?"

Urghhh…I least expected this one. So it was a shocker of sorts. But he has a point; he wants your info, that’s his birth-right. When you don’t even look married (well, here in India women sport certain symbols when they are taken…well, I mean married) why on earth you chose to live separately (he has been working for us for five past years or so, so has the right to talk like my granny!) I murmured something and I felt really angry while answering, so I preferred not to repeat it clearly in more audible voice (dont want to spoil a relationship; I very timely remembered advice of my so-very-good-at-man-management brother) and started to call some numbers while toying with my mobile. I later heard from dad that the electrician had paid him a visit and showed concerns around my new flat and that he (my dad) had not made a right decision.

Many more such comments followed and forgotten (as they did not ‘affect’ me so much) and I was just getting more used to the ‘game’; becoming a veteran of sorts.

Then it was the turn of my ‘I-don’t-know-what-to-say’ neighbor. He meets my brother during his weekend visits and very happily he goes on blabbering: “good that you started to stay here, it was lying vacant for so many months. So, it’s you and your wife?” Wow!! what imagination, I say, really creative imagination!!

It’s hard to engage my brother in a conversation in the middle of a staircase and when his smile can make you forget what your next sentence was. So, that was it.
And this one is so typical: watch this. This neighbor always watches me in the place, day in and day out and not my brother but he only chooses to ask questions to him. Such “gender sensitive” some people are! Anyway, my brother and him have become very goody-goody-hi-hello pals ever since.

But coming back to what made me start it all: I am revamping the look (not mine) of my flat and planned some more work and hence engaged a few more workers. I needed to go to their workshop and place an order and they needed to come and fix it after a week. They came (I brought them as they never came to this part of town or village?).
They entered, and looked in, and kept on looking as if they wanted someone to come out of the corridor, or the bathroom or whatever nook and corner not visible from the entrance. Well, what’s the matter?

Where is ‘sir’? I was like: windows are here, why do you need ‘sir’ in the house? I kept silent, I did not know how to react. Thank heavens, he incorporated his own answers: "Ohh, he must be at work.."

Umm…what?? I am paying you for what you are planning to fix on my windows and then I gave you correct measurements. I even got this helpful doorman remain standby in case he needs a hand. Now, why you need a ‘sir’ to appear from nowhere?

Anyway, here I am waiting for ‘sir’ to appear from nowhere to come home after his work. And then I have a ‘weekend-husband’ visiting me with such sexy smile (now I know from where my ‘I-don’t-know-what-to-say’ neighbor got so imaginative).

Now you know how it feels in my new place, on my own with ‘husband’ and ‘sir’ trooping in from all over. And I say: I don’t really know what to say. I am sort of speechless.

Umm….that’s something new..err news of sorts.

What’s say?

Mental Autopsy (?)

I love myself; it’s a known fact by now. Well, here I am not being my narcissist self. But….

For some time now, I am trying to be with ‘me’ (remember my New Year’s wishes?), spending much time with ‘me’, trying to understand what ‘me’ wants from life. I am walking on the sidelines lest I am pushed into the rat race of life. I am taking time to know how ‘me’ thinks, what 'me' sees, and believes in, and I am giving ‘me’ all the attention rather than getting bulldozed into that high speed track (Oops..I surely have speedo-phobia. Is this a word in Oxford English Dictionary?).

And understanding the inner self is so very rejuvenating. It feels as if I am being born again, all fresh, just out of the womb; pink lungs and rosy cheeks and all that. Ahh!

And here I arrived at a realization. It is difficult to admit things when you see them with a not-so ‘white’ color. Yes, I have arrived at a realization about me. And I think it is always a good idea to talk about it, internalize it rather than hiding or denying it just because we are so very proud to point fingers at our own self. Accept it, it helps!!

And I find my mind play ping-pong between two words: ‘high maintenance’ and ‘difficult’.

The other day I came across an article, thanks to one of my very close friends, and it made me think a lot on the issue. It talked about how our professional and personal successes shape our personalities. I remember doing an extensive research sometime back to understand what it is to be ‘high maintenance’ personality.

I find my mind having a jolly good time playing ping-pong with ‘high maintenance’ and ‘difficult’. Ahem…

I guess, I am analyzing a bit too far and my mind has reached its saturation. I hear ‘me’ saying: ‘I need a break’.

Yes, it’s the right time for one, the weather is just right and my calendar approves my idea as this would be a long weekend indeed and I see a happy looking suitcase waiting for me.

Well, I will be back soon. Till then, see you again!

Handle with Care!

"Handle with care".
This is something I always instruct to the airline personnel while handing over my huge suitcases loaded with...well, just to tickle someone's 'imagination buds', things I often don’t get to see in the stores in my town. And my boxes wear a happy face with lots of 'fragile' stickers on them. And these help me in identifying my luggage when they come rolling down the conveyor belt. It’s kinda routine!!

And so is the case with me, I suppose. Well, I am not talking about luggage or fragile items in my boxes onboard. Its about handling the ‘I-me-myself’.

Its difficult to handle me, that’s what I was told. Well, not too directly actually. A friend brought to my notice an article on a daily about how men are having a tough time handling fragile suitcases…err tough women (yawn, yawn). Oops, I mixed it up again….it shows how much I am in 'travel mode'.

And I do remember a lot of phrases which were coined by people as synonym for ‘I cant handle’ her before flying off the handle. Ha ha ha!! And I know what must have happened when the nicest girl one ever meets can be so difficult to handle….ahem!

Hmmm, I gotta say this one more time as I hand over my suitcase for yet another trip: handling too much, you see! Bon voyage to me!!

be the man..err CHANGE

I was away from my sweety for sometime now, was busy teasing my brain..err I was at work and it’s a demanding field you see! But I am in so much love with my blogspot that I had to be back and make my presence felt!!

I was part of a round table discussion to discuss what policies can inspire more men to end gender-based violence globally and more essentially in South East Asia. And there I came across a few lines which truly moved me:

be the man who says NO to Violence Against Women
be the man who Stands for Equality
be the man who Breaks the Silence
be the man who Cares

And I wonder how many (MAN) would truly answer in affirmative in this so called progressive era. And I ask: Are you man enough?

Well, don’t have to answer me…think for yourself .

Chivalry in the time of ….

Our behavioral pattern says so much about the kind of person we are. And often 'others' pick up the nuances from the ‘doer’ more than the ‘doer’ itself. And it’s all in front of your eyes. A shrug there, a twitch of facial muscle there, a handshake or the way you bid goodbye, everything tells your side of the story. However impressive your voice could sound from the other end of the world but a look at you while you are at it could truly say whether you could REALLY, well…. And our age old, much cliché-ed saying seeing is believing still rules the roost!

We all have heard the word called ‘chivalry’ sometime in our lives and however well we cram the codes of chivalry its our action which qualifies us as one.

And I know how it was when those shrugs could not hide what all was going on in the head. And I know how it was when those drinks little too many needed to be relieved off at a regular intervals. And I know how it was when one fails to say thank you after singing a song or say goodbye when it was time to say one. And I know how it was when the handshake was just not warm enough to seal it with a kiss. And I know how you spell chivalry however logically you claim you compose. I know how one can still remain ill-mannered, ill-behaved even after twirling with an ivy. And I know what it means to get rid of something where chivalry does not exist…

And I know what I saw. And I believe! Ahem!

Mirage or Marriage

We just had a school reunion, and we relived our past drenched in nostalgia, laced in an overdose of double meaning vocabulary (some learnt for the first time that I could utter them and I for sure was surprised more than once and asked myself ‘how come its me all the time that my innocent words are sounding so...ummm.. sexy?!’).

Now coming back to the course of interaction, I guess it went on following a set pattern: people start gathering, people talk, and people exchange numbers and then people disperse. And what people talk? Well, definitely about others lives and the most personal the better!!! Someone starts counting the number of singles in the group on the lines of a cricket coach recounting fall of wickets! Somebody would simply turn into an agony aunt or uncle (depending upon gender) to solicit marriage, giving their voluntary services to the most unwilling customers…err.. friends. I silently say a prayer for all the singles in the group before the assault starts.

Well, marriage is a personal choice and decision; some marries early and some late and then there is a whole drama called finding the right chap..err match, even if you find one you have to make sure whether that would stay or stray and overall that bloody decision making process makes you feel like a dog (it reminds me I have to get rid of those dog biscuits myself…what a joke!) and more so if you are a representative of fairer sex even with right amount of education and moolah and sans those cellulites. I am sure in this insecure time as ours even a single man must be seeing stars in the day when it comes to arriving at a decision even if he knows he is not getting younger by the day.
Well, so, you all self-certified agony aunt/uncles, do you get the right picture now??? And most importantly, if marriage is the panacea for all those ‘imaginary’ ills then who would not want to bow for the holy vow? I am sure even though single-hood is smart, single-hood is envied and sought after but with our cultural norms (self imposed or socially imposed) it’s what we all would normally want (oooo, when someone wants to become a zen guru or a nun, please forgive me!).

But then a reunion is a reunion and for that matter a meeting is a meeting and why we have to follow a set pattern (oh so boring stereotype) as if social behavior is programmed. Well, they are actually programmed by our culture but are we not sounding as if we lost our heads and forgot to talk about other things under the sun??? What about rainbows (it rained this afternoon, may be we missed that pattern on the sky!!!)??
And at the end of the day when I am reminiscing about what all we talked, my bloated stomach reminded me..oops…we forgot to discuss what all we ate….burp… drank, did not we??? And in my head I hear a song ..It happens only in India…(do you remember the lyrics by any chance and can you sing along with me??)